_Italian word of the week: love – l’amore_
Romeo and Juliet couldn’t survive being apart from each other for two days. I don’t think they would have survived the Long Distance Relationship while studying abroad. But I think the famous tragedy is best left in its original time period because it’s rather goofy to picture Romeo and Juliet poking each other on Facebook instead of touching holy palms.
This weekend, I visited the tiny courtyard with the balcony known around the world for the fated scene between famed star-crossed lovers. It made me wish that I, too, could be with my Romeo. I’m not the only one who thought this, seeing as there were plenty of writings on the walls proclaiming love.
Studying abroad is all about independence. You go alone or with peers who you probably weren’t that close with until you left. In my case, I knew absolutely no one. This is easy for some but harder for others. I know some people who don’t even want to study abroad because they are in such a serious relationship. For many, it comes down to a choice: to LDR or not to LDR, unless you are already single.
I chose the former. After all the time I spent planning to study abroad and live the single life, I met someone at the last minute who changed my mind. LDR’s are a lot easier now than they used to be, of course. With Skype and WhatsApp, you can still maintain a level of constant communication, but still, the lack of physical connection remains a tough problem. Sometimes I just need a hug, y’all. On top of that, the study abroad lifestyle of traveling all over with strangers and going out multiple nights a week really puts a strain on the old trust bond.
Before I left, I heard no success stories. Everyone told me it was going to be impossible. “Break it off before you go to the land of love,” they said. Even my old English teacher, who studied abroad in Italy, said not to make any promises. I took that one with a grain of salt considering he did come back home after calling his girlfriend every night. They are now happily married.
Who was right? I still don’t know. No one, after all, can really know. People told me that I hadn’t known my guy long enough for it to work. Even so, the whole story of Romeo and Juliet happens within a week, and you don’t see many people questioning the validity of _their_ love.
When it comes down to it, you just have to decide where you are at in your relationship and whether or not you can trust your partner enough to make the commitment. Some people are more lax about the LDR with a “don’t ask, don’t tell” sort of policy. You really just have to talk about it and set guidelines.
Europeans and tourists have this picturesque habit of putting “love locks” on different bridges. I’ve seen these in many cities: over the Seine River in Paris, in Florence, and even on the gate to Juliet’s courtyard in Verona. It’s a romantic gesture that’s supposed to happen when two lovers put the lock on together, then throw the key into the water. I’m not sure exactly what it symbolizes, but my guess would be that the love lasts as long as the lock. It just gets confusing when someone does it sans partner. Are they trying to lock themselves to someone? It seems a bit odd to me to do it alone, but to each his (or her) own.
Some might say that being in a LDR while studying abroad “locks” you down. This doesn’t really add up with the fantasized version of love everyone seems to be so captivated by. I couldn’t even find a space to write anything on the wall in Juliet’s courtyard because that many people go there to make their mark and hopefully get a piece of their own star-crossed love. Maybe the relationship thing isn’t so overrated after all. If Romeo and Juliet were willing to take deadly potions and deceive their families for their love, I think I can afford to have a cyber boyfriend for a few months, even if it means I have to avoid Italian stallions at the discoteca.
But, soft! What Skype through yonder computer ringeth? It is the east, and the LDR is about to transform back into just a regular R.
Ciao for now!
