Bobby Lee is a freshman journalism major at MU. He writes for The Maneater about political affairs, MU, the state of journalism and environmental topics.
MU’s Welcome Week is designed to help students get acclimated on campus and start the process of getting involved. It is a fantastic opportunity for students scared about the transition to college or not naturally inclined toward involvement. However, many students fall into a major problem every year: overinvolvement. This condition in college causes immense stress, hurts academics and ruins the college experience. For me especially, it only added stress and confusion to the start of my freshman year.
I have been an overachiever since high school. I joined every club I could get my hands on. Even so, the options were limited and it was not a hard task to juggle between academics and work. My list of available clubs went from a little under 30, to over 600 options when I started college.
The vast amount of clubs available and the messaging during Welcome Week made me want to get super involved on campus. I mean, MU advertised multiple times that students should be joining clubs at the start of the year. The general expectation was that joining clubs was a necessity, and would complete my college experience. This started by joining the school paper … and then a fraternity … and then four other clubs.
I was thrilled for the first few weeks. I was doing activities and having fun every single night. I told my family back home that I was having the best time of my life. Despite the amount of fun I was having, my calendar kept filling and filling up. A few weeks into college, my calendar was crammed with meetings. Then, I missed my first meeting for a club because I was too busy. It wasn’t a huge deal looking back. To me though, the illusion that I could manage my time effectively crashed and burned.
From this point forward, I had a knot in my stomach every time a crowded day came up on my calendar. I felt obligated to do everything, even if it was becoming clear I should’ve been focusing my time on my two or three favorites. My hometown friends were impressed that I was involved in so much, when I just desperately wanted to go to the gym and relax for a night with them. My busy schedule had me feeling sick and anxious and ignoring basic needs. There were days I skipped meals because I did not believe it to be the best use of my time. I started craving going to events and activities where I could shut my brain off for a few hours, but the stress and terrible feeling would always come back afterwards.
This overinvolvement caused me to have a wide range of productivity. Some days I could go to all of my classes and three meetings and be completely fine, while others had me laying in bed trying to find an excuse for myself on why I couldn’t go out.
The only excuse I should’ve needed is that I was stressed and wasn’t enjoying things. I had to learn to say no and focus on what is best for me. It was really hard, and I am still struggling with this process. Whenever I get asked to take on extra responsibility or do another activity not previously planned, it hurts me to have to say no. Now though, I realize that I need to say it in order to perform at my best for all of my other responsibilities.
I dropped one club and scaled back involvement in two others since coming to this realization. I am still fairly active and involved, yet I continue to stress. However, this pressure and responsibility does not tie me down and hinder me any longer. I hope one day that I will be able to get more involved in everything I want to at MU, but it is essential that I make sure I can before signing myself up for it.
I am happy that I am so involved at MU, and I feel that every single student should try and find something they are interested in and can pursue outside of academics. I would advise all students to be mindful that everyone has a limit. Making sure you have time for yourself is important, especially in college. While I understand MU’s motive for pushing involvement, advertising it at the beginning of the year — when people have the most free time they will ever get in college — is destined to prompt some people to take on more than they can.
Please do not do what I did. College is one of the best opportunities a person will ever have to make essential memories, but overdoing it can cause the same stress I faced. The messaging that involvement can make college worth it only works if you have enough time for all your responsibilities. Focus on having a good balance between involvement in your community, and time for yourself to relax and enjoy life. Even though there are hundreds of clubs and opportunities to choose from, and many of them might seem like good options, choosing even one too many can ruin the experience of all the involvement.
The Maneater and its staff believe that mental health is one of the most important ways to stay healthy in life. We encourage all of our readers to donate to The American Institute of Stress. They are the only widespread organization that focuses solely on the science of stress and how to scientifically manage stress by testing time management and other helpful tips to keep a healthy mind. https://www.stress.org/give/make-a-gift
Edited by Sarah Rubinstein, srubinstein@themaneater.com