Do you remember that song from “Toy Story,” “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” written by Randy Newman? When we listened to it as kids, we didn’t think much of it. It was a fun song for a sweet movie where stuffed animals came to life and learned the importance of relationships and growing up. Now in the present, the word ‘friend’ holds a deeper meaning than your typical everyday term. It’s something that has a background — a past and a future.
Whether your friendship problems are with one person or a group of people, they are valid in every way possible. There’s nothing worse than not knowing what to do in times of trouble, and I’m here to tell you that it’s normal to not know. You won’t always have the answer to every issue, but you can certainly work your way to a solution.
If you experience an obstacle with your friends, the first thing to remember is to work on communicating with them. Dr. Miriam Kirmayer writes in the Friendship Report that friendship is “about communicating with intent” and that “it’s about feeling connected in a meaningful way.” The way you start off a conversation with your friends to resolve a conflict will affect how the rest of the talk goes. So, remember to walk in with the intention of making things better for the both of you.
For example, if you and a friend make the time to sit down with each other to resolve your problem and you start the conversation with “Alright let’s get to it,” your friend might not be willing to talk anymore because they feel like you don’t really care. But, if you start the conversation with “Thank you for coming to talk with me,” your friend will feel more comfortable opening up to you and know that you are serious about trying to patch things up.
When you get to the end of creating a proposition that works for everyone, it doesn’t stop there. You have to keep at it and uphold the promise to continue to see growth.
There is a possibility of things falling out, and in that stage it’s up to you whether or not you want to try again. You have a choice just like your friends do. Understand that may take a month or two, or longer than that. No matter the amount of time it may take, it will be worth it in the end because your friendship will be stronger than it was before — and that’s a moment to be forever proud of.
Wishing you the best,
Galena
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Edited by Abby Stetina | astetina@themaneater.com