Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “With freedom comes responsibility.” And, though Roosevelt probably wasn’t talking relationship-wise, it still applies. Just because moving off to college means you are older now does not mean maturity is inherent. Lasting relationships are surely formed here at MU, but there are certain things to keep in mind when exploring the college-dating scene. Dating can be a fantastic experience, if handled with care.
Chances are most young adults entering life on a college campus haven’t experienced what we would call a “serious relationship” quite yet. And no, dating for a few months after your senior Prom doesn’t count. Jumping out of an era of “high-school dating” and diving into a new world full of opportunities can have its ups and downs. College life is the perfect time to constantly meet new people and learn about yourself as well. You’re bound to come across some intriguing people, whether it be at your friend’s house party or in your history class. Being honest and not compromising who you are usually make for the best dating experiences and ensure lining up your character and values with those of another. Others often find true self-esteem far more attractive than false pretenses when trying to impress. You’re only hurting yourself if you lose your own identity in pleasing others.
With that being said, there are a few different facets to college-dating culture. Great relationships can emerge from group hangouts or study sessions. Although striking up a conversation with the classmate next to you might annoy your professor, it could earn you some alone time later. These types of settings are great places to foster honest connections through common interests. Making new friends with the people around you is the perfect way to grow a more intimate relationship. Developing a dating-type situation from an initial friendship is always a great way to get to know someone before becoming too committed. Casual settings such as these are also great for managing your time and having the freedom to dip out as soon as you need to or stay and hang for as long as you want to.
In addition to the more conservative way of doing things, there are obviously less conventional ways to “date around” by moving from one relationship to the next quickly. Finding someone to chat it up with in social settings, such as parties, gatherings and mixers is of course a great way to get a feel for whether or not you can make connections. Another great characteristic about these larger group settings is having the ability to move on to another person when conversation starts running dry. Talking with several different people in one evening betters your chances of making some friends and not calling the evening a total wash. With parties comes one hazardous element, however: alcohol. Dating and drinking can be a perfectly mild combination but can also be easily misused without caution and responsibility. It is important to always understand your partner’s intentions and communicate openly to ensure you are on the same page.
Last but certainly not least, there is also the long-distance relationship. If you are embarking on a long-distance relationship by choosing MU, you are not alone. Many students opt to stick it out with their high school sweethearts and make the commute back and forth to see each other. Sticking it out with an already established relationship might seem comfortable in the beginning, but it will soon become apparent that it’s one of the hardest things to do. On the positive side, traveling to and from each other’s towns can be an exciting way to see each other more often. Although these types of relationships require the most effort and commitment, there is definitely something to be said about the level of investment and sometimes it pays off.
No matter where you meet the person you start dating, another piece of advice is not to jump in too headstrong. The beauty of college dating is that there are always more fish in the sea — in your sea, in fact. There are too many people on this campus to feel stuck in a relationship that maybe doesn’t click perfectly. Keeping in mind that there is flexibility in these fresh relationships will work to your advantage and keep your options open. If you’re not married, don’t assume that you must behave like you are.
It is also important to keep in mind that it isn’t written anywhere that we must be committed to any kind of relationship at all times. College can be a very pivotal point for many students, and making time for some self-seeking should always be a priority. For some, the dating scene comes a little more naturally, but that doesn’t mean that good things don’t come to those who wait. Bar none, dating can be an exciting part of college life, so take full advantage while you’re here.
