So, Big 12, we couldn’t help but notice your relationship status on Facebook changed. Again. And this time, we’re just a little bit concerned.
This is nothing new for you. In fact, we’re not even sure why we’re surprised. This time last year, we had to watch you post angry statuses about how much you already missed Colorado and Nebraska. You always have been the clingy type.
Meanwhile, you ignored the fact every other partner of yours was flirting with other conferences behind your back. You should’ve known you’d be in the same situation a year later.
And so, for the last month we’ve all been wrapped up in your relationship struggles. You’ve taken the “it’s complicated” status to a whole new level. Let’s recap, shall we?
You let Texas buy a shiny new TV deal. You had to have known the Aggies would get jealous, throw a fit and leave you for another stronger, better-looking conference. And why do you seem so surprised schools like Missouri and Oklahoma are thinking of cheating on you?
The fact is, you’re not the hottest thing on the market anymore. You just don’t have what other schools want most in a relationship. Schools like conferences that they can rely on, that give them the attention and money they deserve. None of this preferential treatment you seem to be giving to Texas and Oklahoma.
And if Kansas just wants to have a quiet night and snuggle up on the couch, you need to be there for it.
Unfortunately, you haven’t shown any stability in your relationships. It seems like every year, you and your partners fight to the brink of splitting up. Yet you always kiss and make up, but fail to actually address the issues.
So, now that you’ve decided to go to relationship counseling, it needs to produce some results. You can’t keep doing this every year and expect things to just work out over time. This relationship clearly isn’t working for any side, but you have one last chance to talk it over and smooth things out before you’ll have to part ways for good. And a split now would be ugly.
Meanwhile, don’t get jealous if Missouri starts flirting with someone else again. After all, your trustworthiness is so low, you might as well update your status again. Because this has all the makings of an “open relationship.”
