**5. Macramé**
Macramé clothes were all over the magazines this summer. They looked cute on the pages of Elle but weren’t as cute when they were on your body for more than an hour. A normal-sized long sleeve macramé pullover would stretch all the way down to my knees by the end of the day. Of course, one could just wash a garment to shrink it back, but you can’t do that with macramé. It’s too delicate. So now the summer has left many of us with weird crochet dresses in our closet.
(pictured: not cute.)
**4. Denim Jackets**
Stop trying to pretend that it’s still the ’90s. It’s not the ’90s. Last time you wore a denim jacket and pulled it off, you were seven. Now, you do it for the irony, and I cannot stand it. It’s not the jacket itself — it’s the person you try to be when you wear it.
(pictured: Novelty Hell.)
**3. Spice Girl Shoes**
My roommate wears these. She thinks she can’t wear real heels so she opts for the all-over platform. But then she looks like Baby Spice. It’s another wretched throwback to the ’90s. I understand it’s “ironic” and “novelty” but nobody thinks it’s cute.
(pictured: Should have stayed in Spice World.)
**2. Feathers**
The feather extensions are fine. I’m still wearing mine. But when a sloppy girl in Uggs and sweats sits in front of me in class and then turns her sloppy ponytailed head to reveal a cluster of pink and blue feathers…well that turns the trend into the second worst fad of 2011. I mean, if you’re going to spend 10 bucks a piece per feather to be permanently clipped into your hair, make the dang effort to finish the look. The feathers only look boho-chic if they are not neon and if you’re not wearing your sorority shirt.
(pictured: Jennifer Love Hewitt looking ridiculous)
**1. Janties**
In case you didn’t know what janties were, it’s a combination of “jorts” (which is a combination of “jeans” and “shorts”) and “panties.” Now do you know what I’m talking about? I truly do not enjoy being stuck behind you janty-sporting girls in between classes. Either you’re too fat to be wearing them — in which case your cellulite is in my face — or you’re super skinny, in which case I am filled with envy while I’m forced to stare at the bottoms of your cellulite-free butt cheeks on my way to class.
(Pictured: The worst of the worst.)