As some of you might have noticed, this is my final column of the semester. Fewer of you might have assumed that with this final column, I will take the opportunity to throw some people, organizations, departments, styles, weather, crowds, anything really, under the metaphorical bus.
Alas, you will be disappointed. I don’t think it’s a deviation from the norm, though.
In my (unintentional) pursuit to anger everyone on campus, there is one group I did not get the chance to discuss.
In fact, I completely neglected them and their needs this semester, and for that, I dedicate an entire column to them.
Who is this underrepresented demographic in the media?
Well of course, the white, straight, cis-male student, or WSCM for short.
Collectively, we might not recognize their struggle, but it’s just as real as the ones endured by minority students.
The first I should address is racism. Many WSCM might feel uncomfortable going to minority-oriented events. I can understand why. We are in a post-racial world, so it becomes counter-productive to discuss race. I mean, we elected a half-black president, so it’s pretty obvious race isn’t a social issue anymore, right?
It’s a sigh of relief to live in a post-racial world; the main perk is not constantly being called a racist.
My second concern is wardrobe and hair. It may just be my perception, but a majority of the majority seems to have the same three department stores and hairstyles sponsoring their closets and heads. I would like to applaud them for their feminism; when everyone expresses the same style out of their own agency, it promotes equality and a fashion safe space. LOVE IT. Here’s my recognition of the WSCM’s vision of feminism and equality.
I know I can’t talk about WSCMs without talking about working out. I’ve been visiting the Rec more often, mainly because I date a WSCM and he enjoys working out, so I decided to give it a go and give us something more to talk about. Anyway, one concern a WSCM might have with the Rec is the lack of free weights and machines. How are they going to maintain their swoll bodies without free weights exceeding 40 kgs? How are they going to continue monopolizing the machines when more women and men of color encroach on their territory? And the HOURS! How can they get more hours of workout time in when the Rec closes at the unreasonable hour of 11 p.m.? UGH.
There are many more things I could have discussed from the white, straight, cis-male perspective, seeing as I do identify as one. Actually, there is something I should have mentioned to the The Maneater editorial board and the readers. All of my columns on diversity and social justice have been nothing more than a ruse. In reality, I am similar to Mitt Romney or even Rick Perry. I believe corporations are people, gays are not people and the Occupy movement is ludicrous.
That’s what a majority of the readers wanted, right? A columnist who assists in perpetuating a self-serving bias is exactly what student journalism is for.
I know my views do not reflect a majority of students, and I’m OK with that, clearly. I just hope I sardonically and effectively addressed some relevant campus issues, albeit from a different perspective.
Have a great winter break and I hope you enjoy the words from whoever takes this column space next semester.
(Hey, let’s all just be happy I didn’t use 600 words each week delving into different aspects of Indian movies. It’s the little things you have to be grateful for.)