It seems as if everyone’s New Year’s resolution this year is to not make New Year’s resolutions. America has all but given up on January self-improvement. And who can blame us? The typical resolution bullet points read like a laundry list of how to make your life suckish and boring: Eat salad. Use the treadmill. Stop swearing. Fuck that! Cheeseburgers are delicious! (Jumbaco! Jumbaco!) And don’t even get me started on treadmills. What America needs — you listening, Newt? — are some nifty new resolutions. (“Nifty” is the “swag” of 2012, if you didn’t get the memo.)

And while you’re working on your own list of revolutionary resolutions (might I suggest “climb Mt. Kilimanjaro” or “watch all five seasons of ‘Friday Night Lights'”?), you can be sure to find all the niftiness your pre-2012 self so desperately craved here at your friendly neighborhood MOVE Magazine! Sure, we’re gonna continue to provide your weekly helpings of fresh coverage on the entertainment world, CoMo and beyond. But we’ve also got a few resolutions of our own. We’re stepping our game up in terms of multimedia and online content. (Rap blogs and fashion vlogs and Pinterest pages, oh my!) Plus, we’re tweaking a few things to make sure MOVE is looking as sexy as ever. And we don’t need no stinkin’ treadmill to do it.

Oh, I’m Brandon Foster, by the way. (I’m the new MOVE editor, which is why they let me use so many parentheses.) Happy 2012, everyone! Now, let’s get apocalyptic, why don’t we?