I don’t want to call you ignorant, I don’t want to shame you, I don’t want to make you feel belittled or feel that you don’t have a bright future as a journalist. I intend to approach you with as much respect and civility that I can muster, mostly
because you failed to do the same to me.
I am a gay man. I have a Grindr account. I have sex with men. I don’t appreciate you infiltrating a construct of the gay community in order to prove that your opinions are correct. Firstly, they’re not correct, because they’re opinions. Secondly, you failed to address anyone that actually uses the app or alone is a member of the gay community. No offense, but your opinion as a heterosexual female on a device made explicitly for homosexual men lacks validity. Dear, it’s as if I (a 6’8”, 220 pound, white male, as it states on my profile) walked into a Forever 21 and was appalled that the mini skirts on the sale rack failed to flatter my figure or accentuate my most attractive qualities.
The mini skirt wasn’t made for me, and Grindr wasn’t made for you. Not that you shouldn’t be entitled to your opinions, lord knows I have plenty of my own that are unwarranted, but I have yet to publish them in a newspaper. It’s a mistake plenty of great journalists have made and it isn’t an indicator that you won’t have a career in the future. I think you’ll find that the LGBTQ community is loving and accepting and always willing to forgive those who have made mistakes. But, I have more to say
than just comments on your article itself.
I want to speak for the gay community when I say that I am not a purse. I am not a pair of shoes. I am not your new sunglasses. I’m a person and I am not to be treated like an accessory. I am no one’s gay best friend, but I am the best friend of
plenty of men and women alike. My sexuality has nothing to do with the type of friend that I am or what I can contribute to a relationship. I’m not going to say that I don’t perform some of the functions specified in your ideal GBF. I give great fashion
advice, I’m skilled in witty banter and I have plenty of sass to go around. My relation to a few cultural stereotypes doesn’t turn me into a commodity that is to be sought out and obtained. Unlike a pair of shoes I happen to have a brain and free will. I can
think for myself. I can participate in my community. I can educate myself, and I can make arguments based on my own opinions.
Also, I can have tastes that go outside the bounds of Lady Gaga, glitter, and sex. I don’t want this to come off as if I’m telling
you that your friendship is not wanted. I want you to understand that I’m more than a product.
In conclusion, I give a warning. Don’t touch my culture. Our hetero-normative society has already taken enough. I lack civil rights that you don’t. You’re of the majority and the majority has had the freedom for a very long time to take
what it wants from the minority. I don’t have much more to say about this that you haven’t already heard in your article’s comments. In no way did your article make me think you were against equal rights, it just made me think that you really don’t
understand these gay men that you seem to think are your best friends. As a side note, I’m not best friends with people who reduce me to stereotypes. Look at your best friends who happen to be gay, and just think. “Is there more to these men, that
I’m not seeing?”
Ms. Woodhouse, I don’t think you’re a bad person, I just think you can do much better than this. I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed that this is still an issue that needs to be dealt with.