_The set-up_

Read the general rules below before beginning – these will apply throughout the night, though you’re at your own discretion about how strictly you’ll want to adhere to them…

Each time an award is announced, all players (or you can take turns) follow the directions for that category according to whoever wins. Remember there are 24 awards, so pace yourself, and please drink responsibly, ahem, if you’re 21+. Otherwise, well, we’re obligated to suggest a nice glass of cream soda or something. 

Play at your own risk. You are by no means obligated to follow every last rule.

_General rules:_

Everyone takes a shot when:

– Seth MacFarlane, the host of the Oscars, makes fun of a celebrity (be careful with this one).

– The orchestra plays “get off the stage” music during an acceptance speech

Everyone takes two shots when:

– The cameraman shows a bored audience member (think Tommy Lee Jones at the Golden Globes).

Finish your drink when: 

– An actress (or actor) cries during an acceptance speech

**Wardrobe rule:** The first player to notice and point out a wardrobe change may choose one other player to take a shot.

_The Big Leagues_

**Best Picture**

If “Les Misérables” wins, pour out your drink for the tears you cried (or didn’t, if you’re a robot) while watching that masterpiece of cinema. Then pour yourself another one and chug it.

**Best Actor**

If Bradley Cooper or Daniel Day-Lewis wins, take a gulp. If Joaquin Phoenix or Hugh Jackman win, take two gulps for the underdog. If Denzel Washington wins, finish your drink to honor his role as an alcoholic in the film “Flight.”

**Best Actress**

If Jennifer Lawrence wins, raise your cup/bottle/glass and CHUG for America’s newest sweetheart.

**Best Actor – Supporting**

Drink for the German – Christoph Waltz of “Django Unchained.” If any of the other nominees win, don’t drink to protest all of these super old nominees slowly losing relevance.

**Best Actress – Supporting**

If Anne Hathaway wins, finish your drink. If Sally Field or Amy Adams win, take a gulp. If Helen Hunt or Jacki Weaver win, spend their acceptance speech looking up who they are on IMDb.

**Best Director**

Finish your drink for Spielberg if “Lincoln” wins. Take a gulp if David O. Russell of “Silver Linings Playbook” or Ang Lee of “Life of Pi” win. If either of the other two directors win, yell angrily over the outrage you feel that they took the spot on the ballot from one of Hollywood’s favorite Boston exports, Ben Affleck.

_The VERY Long and Short of It_

**Best Animated Film**

Finish your drink for “Wreck-It Ralph” or “Brave,” because both of those movies were epic (though neither will surpass the excellence of “Finding Nemo”). For any other winner, take a gulp.

**Best Documentary**

Honestly, take this award announcement to catch your breath or catch up with your drinking. It’s going to be a long night, and you haven’t seen or heard of any of these movies anyways.

**Best Foreign Language Film**

If “Amour” wins, take a sip solely because it’s up for a few awards tonight and, honestly, this is the only one it actually has a chance of winning.

**Best Animated Short**

If Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare” wins, CHUG! If anything else wins, take a sip.

_Scripts & Lyrics_

**Best Sound Mixing**

Because over the past 50 years Bond has had undoubtedly some of the greatest audio narrations in cinema, finish your drink simply because “Skyfall” is a nominee. If it wins, take a shot instead.

**Best Sound Editing**

The Academy actually filled a ballot with legitimately worthy contenders for this category, so take a sip no matter who wins. Bravo! 

**Best Music — Original Song**

Even though it would be a travesty if Adele doesn’t win for “Skyfall,” take a gulp if “Suddenly” or “Everybody Needs a Friend” wins. If Adele does win, take a shot to celebrate the power of her god-like voice.

**Best Writing — Original Screenplay**

Quentin Tarantino deserves this Oscar, so finish your drink if he wins. If not, a sip for “Zero Dark Thirty” is acceptable.

_“You’ve Never Heard of Any of These Nominees”_

**Best Cinematography**

“Skyfall.” Must. Win. Finish your drink, and toast Roger Deakins’ creative genius if it does. If not, silently take a sip for the film that clearly won only by bribing the Academy.

**Best Costume Design**

Honestly, none of these films had eye-popping costumes. Most of the films just used history to design attire that fit the time period of the film, and the other two are about Snow White. I say all players should finish their drink no matter who wins and cross their fingers that the big categories come up soon.

**Best Makeup and Hairstyling**

For the cosmetologist in us all: “Hitchcock” did an amazing job of making Anthony Hopkins look like the late, great director, and “The Hobbit” managed to make normal people look like unnatural creatures. But “Les Misérables” made Hugh Jackman look homeless and (sort of) ugly. Now that’s an accomplishment. Finish your drink for “Les Misérables,” take two gulps for any other.