I’m one of the more unsocial people I know. Don’t get me wrong; I love people, social gatherings and adventures. I just prefer experiencing them on a screen while in the comfort of my own home.
I figure, why make real friends who are bound to eventually leave me when I can instead have immortal friends who live inside my computer? Sure, the series may end or the writer may kill off a character (Why Downton, why?!), but that is what reruns are for.
Everyone has some sort of mentor who has helped him or her out throughout life. It’s just that my mentor is less “Tuesdays with Morrie” and more Sundays with the Kardashians. From “Sesame Street” teaching me about numbers to “Toddlers and Tiaras” teaching me how to be a loving parent, I owe my life wisdom to my good friend and confidante, television.
**Working hard is not necessary:** If there’s one thing I have learned from watching endless hours of TV, it’s that hard work, or really any work for that matter, is not necessary for living a successful life. Do you see the characters on Gossip Girl worrying about their midterms? Of course not. Worrying about schoolwork is for peasants who don’t own Versace handbags. Instead, they worry about the real things in life, such as how many outfit changes are appropriate during a single day and whether or not headbands are still fashionable. Spoiler alert: a minimum of three, and _of course_ they are.
Even shows that supposedly focus on work, such as “The Office,” involve very little real labor. It’s not that making a living is unimportant; it’s just that pulling pranks on your coworkers is more important. But why would you need to focus on your job when it is so easy to move up the corporate ladder? You just need to hope your boss randomly goes on a soul-searching boat trip, brings a gun to work or is discovered to have absolutely no experience in the workforce. Good news — these things are surprisingly common in the real world.
**Trust no one:** If Pretty Little Liars has taught me one thing, it is that it’s totally cool and not weird to date your teacher. If it has taught me two things, it is that I can trust absolutely no one and everyone is out to get me and I can’t confide in the police because they are probably corrupt and there’s no way to tell if someone is good or bad and if I kiss a guy he is probably going to try to kill me later and never own a cell phone because I will receive texts from an anonymous person who is trying to ruin my life. This is why I prefer watching TV to having actual human contact: I know my TV will never stab me in the back and try to murder me.
**Love is a beautiful thing, and so are long, emotionally-charged stares:** There is no question that the most important thing I have learned from my countless hours of watching television is how to properly fall in love. The first thing “The Bachelor” taught me is that no matter how accomplished I am in my professional life, I will never truly be successful until I can make a hunky man fall in love with me. The second important lesson is that it is totally possible to fall in love with someone while being filmed and with thirteen other girls also vying for his attention. Let’s just hope no one has strep. Worst-case scenario is that I don’t get the final rose. But if that happens, I just get to become the next Bachelorette and have hot guys fight over me. So there are worse things in life.
**Reality Check:** While it can be relaxing and enjoyable to kick back and escape from reality for a little bit, we need to remember to not get so caught up into TV fantasy land that we forget to live our own lives. It may be easy to get sucked into others’ glamorous lives, but creating our own adventures will end up being much more rewarding.