I have a belief that some people’s lives are simply a scrapbook of awkward moments. These people are (thankfully) generally a rarity. The average 19-year-old can’t say that they’ve broken their foot tripping over a base during a kickball game, or that they thought they were a dog for the entire year they were three. I, however, can.
This column will consist of an exploration of my first year at MU, navigating the murky water of embarrassment and awkwardness that has been my freshman year.
Here we go.
One of the first things freshmen experience before the official move-in is Summer Welcome. Whoop, whoop. For me, the experience was… interesting. Yeah, I suppose that’s the word I would use. I vaguely remember being in a group with other newbies that I virtually have never seen again, and that I ditched most of the festivities to go wander around downtown with my parental units. (Yeah, I’m a badass… sorry I’m not sorry.)
At this point, you are probably wondering, “Taylor, how is this an awkward story? This is a rip-off! I want my money back! Let’s storm the castle!”
Or perhaps you are still trying to digest that whole “thought she was a dog for a year” thing and trying to comprehend how I have made it this far in life.
Well folks, calm your shit. I’m getting there.
The night of Summer Welcome was where all the magic happened (winky face). After the whole pizza party extravaganza that is thrown during the first evening, I retired to my humble abode (a dorm room in Gillett). After I unpacked my things, I heard a knock on the door, and another girl walked in. I could only hope that this was my roommate for the day because I had been outside in the heat for too long to fend off any crazed axe murderer.
At the time she seemed relatively cool. Well, the only thing I can remember about her is that she mentioned that there was a Harry Potter literature class at MU (which equals cool in my mind). The only sketchy thing she said to me was when she asked if I had a boyfriend.
I probably should have taken this as a warning sign. I feel like this is a really weird thing to ask someone when you just learned their name. Whatever. Anyway, she took my awkward silence as an opportunity to spout off all the facts of her relationship and how “hot” her man was. Cool story, bro. I decided not to judge her too hardcore, taking the Harry Potter thing into consideration.
After the long chain of events transpiring from the day, we passed out not long after that.
That was, until I heard strange noises at around three in the morning.
_“What the Fuddruckers is that?”_ I thought.
The noises were coming from the bed adjacent to mine. They kind of resembled a dying wildebeest mixed with a dove that had one too many. In a horrifying moment, I realized my Summer Welcome roommate was on the phone with her boyfriend. And they were getting freaky over the telephone lines.
_“What do I do, what do I do!?!??”_
I did the only thing my awkward self could think to do: pretend to be asleep. Well, as you can imagine, that didn’t last too long. If you think it is easy to roll over and fall asleep while hearing someone making those noises, it’s surprisingly not. After about 10 minutes of enduring my undeserved torture, I sat up, rolled over, put my headphones in, and went back to sleep. Needless to say, the noises pretty much ceased after that.
The next morning while we were packing up, the girl said, “Oh, I hope I didn’t wake you up last night. My parents called me pretty late, and I had to pick up.”
Although I did hear her refer to the caller on the other line as “Daddy,” I really can’t imagine it was in the way that she claimed. And I hope she wouldn’t say those things to her actual dad.
The point I’m trying to get across here is _stand up for yourself_. I lay there like a scared wimp, when the situation could have easily been resolved if I had politely told her to shut up. Or even, as a precaution to the whole situation even occurring, you should talk to your roommate. Set up boundaries. Figure out what is acceptable and what’s not.
Otherwise, you may find yourself third-wheeling on your roommate’s phone sex which, quite frankly, is not as fun as it sounds.