Dear College Music Committee,

Judging by how quickly the tickets for past concerts have sold out (and the resulting outcry on social media from disappointed fans who did not receive tickets), you obviously have done a good job picking bands to visit CoMo. Congratulations. However, this is where I must step in and give my humble opinion.

I’ve noticed that I do this weird thing sometimes where, when I listen to John Legend, I get an image of Paula Deen in my mind. Trust me, I don’t normally associate musically talented Ivy League grads with Southern chefs, but they do have one thing in common: butter.

Deen uses a Costco-sized pack of butter for every meal for two, and Legend’s voice is the audible equivalent to butter. Therefore, dearest CMC, I would really appreciate if you could invite this man to Mizzou, so his sweet, smooth voice can soothe our Midwestern ears and take the pain away from any class-related stress.

John Legend is an incredible pianist as well, and the complete package of watching his hands dance across a keyboard and listening to his heavenly voice would be enough to keep audience members happy and impressed long after he leaves.

Next up? Don’t take his last name lightly; it’s easy to drown in Frank Ocean’s music. I know that Odd Future came last fall, and as I learned from interacting with concert attendees immediately after the show, it was an incredible experience. However, I wholeheartedly believe that Frank Ocean has musical talent and merit apart from his association with Odd Future and deserves to be welcomed to Columbia with open arms.

There’s something subtly beautiful about Ocean’s music, and unlike other artists in his genre, it doesn’t blare in your face. When I’m listening, I can tell that he’s not producing music to impress anyone or gain attention; he’s doing it to express himself and his experiences and problems with the world. It would be interesting to watch him live to see if the same idea translates into his performance, and there’s only one way to find out: Bring him here.

Andrew Bird’s musical talents exceed the limitations of the human body. If he were functioning at full artistic capacity, he would need to have about eight arms, effectively making him a musical octopus.

Regardless of his human restrictions, Bird still manages to juggle three or four instruments in a single song and even makes it look easy. If a Columbia performance were anything like his YouTube videos, concert attendees would be left open-mouthed and rocking. Even if alternative rock isn’t a students’ favorite type of music, they could go just to watch him play the violin, guitar and harmonica all in the same minute.

I know it’s easy to get lost, “lost in the heat of it all,” but please “give me the green light,” or I’ll fight, I’ll “fight for music halls and dying cities”…and for these artists to come.

Thanks a bunch,
A Mizzou student anxiously awaiting this year’s lineup