Is there some secret class or DVD on relationships that I missed as an adolescent? I feel like all my peers just know how to date, but here I am sitting on my couch shamelessly watching “Sex and the City” in hopes of unraveling this mystery.
When I ask my friends how to get guys, the lessons usually begin with flirting. Unfortunately, my idea of flirting is incorporating potty humor and sarcasm into a conversation.
This isn’t intentional, of course. My problem is, though I’m usually suave and clever, I don’t know how to act around the guys I like. I repeat in my mind, “Don’t say something stupid. Don’t say something stupid.” But this makes me think of all the stupid things not to say, and I therefore spout out the first thing that comes to mind. I have previously compared frozen custard to cow poop. Seriously.
Lesson 2 often tends to be about snagging the guy. The concept seems so simple: You flirt, he flirts back, and then he asks you on a date. After you say yes, you exchange contact information and set the time and place. As long as you show up on time and don’t spill scalding hot coffee on your date, you’ll be on your way to a great relationship.
This is where I have the most trouble. Getting asked on a date by the one guy I want to ask me.
Lesson 3: Now that you’ve got the guy, everything will become very easy. You’ve gotten the first awkward date out of the way and can now spend every waking moment of the day texting and chatting with said guy. You begin to spend more and more time with him. Coffee dates become movie dates. Movie dates become dinner dates. And if the guy ever decides to cook for you himself, you are in.
Finally, the easiest step: saying yes. NOT to marriage. Slow down there, Skipper. Saying yes to being in a relationship, being a boy/girlfriend, going steady or whatever you kids call it these days. You are finally in a relationship.
Now the above steps seem easy enough, right? So why is it that they don’t want to work for me? I can flirt (kind of), I can be cute (sometimes), and I like coffee (all the time). So why don’t the guys I like like me back?
I wish I knew. I would love it if someone would explain this to me, since I obviously missed the VHS back in the day.
Now I’m not saying I need a boyfriend or anything. I mean, if I were being completely honest with myself, what would I do with one? How often does he eat? Do I have to make sure he bathes? Do I just kiss him and then leave him in a corner?
These are the questions that afflict my days. Though I’ve yet to master getting a boyfriend, I understand the concept. My question is, what happens after you get the guy?
I’ve seen my friends with their significant others, and I’ve seen every stage of a relationship by living vicariously through them. I have one friend in the beginning stage of a relationship full of mixed signals and unknowns, and I have another friend more than a year in who’s contemplating marriage. The problem is that I’m personally clueless.
What I’ve come to accept is that being in a relationship in college isn’t essential. I’m sure we’ve all felt pressured to have a significant other at some point, but it’s just silly. Some people (hopefully) are in the same situation as me and are completely naïve when it comes to this whole dating thing. It depends on the person, and there is no need to rush into something just to be like your friends.
Taking the time to get to know a person is the key to any relationship, regardless of whether it is romantic or completely platonic. Just enjoy the company of others and show your true self.