Don’t act like you didn’t see this coming.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is it: the coffee column.
If you’ve read my column, or know me in real life (or if you follow me on social media or just _smell_ the coffee on me), then you’re well aware of my obsession. I [once](https://medium.com/starbucks-coffee-house/7e6122c97bb1) compared it to “‘Trainspotting,’ only with less heroin and sinking into floors and more Grande Black Dark Roast and sinking into the comfy chairs at my local coffee shop” and “‘The Basketball Diaries,’ but with a cup of joe in place of illicit substances … and sadly, sans Leo DiCaprio.”
Or something like that.
Anyway, I think it’s high time I use this coffee addiction for good. So, without further ado, I give you your Downtown Declassified: CoMo Coffee Compendium Column.
Ahem.
**IF YOU WANT:** A super indie coffee shop experience that’s classically, quirkily Columbia
_Lakota Coffee_
_24 S. Ninth St._
_Coffee: 3/5_
_Atmosphere: 5/5_
_Price of a 12-ounce coffee: $1.40 (refills, 93 cents)_
From its funky furniture and decorations to its long list of drinks and food, Lakota’s the place to go when you want to study somewhere with a little more character than your dorm’s study room. They’re open until midnight during the school year –– perfect for those late-night cram sessions that necessitate copious amounts of caffeine and snacks.
**IF YOU WANT:** A mid-Missouri classic
_Kaldi’s Coffee_
_29 S. Ninth St._
_Coffee: 5/5_
_Atmosphere: 5/5_
_Price of a 12-ounce coffee: $2.25_
OK, if you’ve talked to me some time in the last few days, you’ve probably heard of how the last time I was here, I learned the hard way that my MacBook didn’t share my love of coffee. (“The … the hard drive even smells like coffee … ?” –– Guy at TigerTech). Keeping that in mind, Kaldi’s Columbia location is great for studying, catching up with friends or just people-watching. Or losing $1,200 in a matter of seconds. Your call.
**IF YOU WANT:** A cup of joe before a show
_Coffee Zone_
_11 N. Ninth St._
_Coffee: 4/5_
_Atmosphere: 4/5_
_Price of a 12-ounce coffee: $1.40 (refills, 93 cents)_
Conveniently located just a few doors down from The Blue Note, Coffee Zone is a perfect stop on your way to a concert. The shop’s motto is “death before decaf,” and it sells a range of coffees and other caffeine-laden beverages –– great for getting fueling up before dancing the night away at a show.
**IF YOU WANT:** Some chords with your coffee
_Fretboard Coffee_
_1013 Walnut St. (behind Ernie’s)_
_Coffee: 3/5_
_Atmosphere: 4/5_
_Price of a 12-ounce coffee: Exact price not available online, but a November visit ran yours truly about $4._
So a former information technology guy, a former bass player and a coffee roaster walk into a coffee shop … and, well, they’re all the same person because Fretboard’s Dave Elman is one of the most interesting people you’ll meet in CoMo. Stop by this hidden gem for “roastin’ and rockin’,” as its site states.
**IF YOU WANT:** Starbucks
_Starbucks_
_304 S. Ninth St._
_Coffee: I mean, yeah, but …_
_Atmosphere: Seriously, dude …_
_Price of a Tall coffee: *Sigh* …_
You do you.
