“The Godfather” and “The Godfather: Part II” are two of my favorite films. A third, unnecessary installment, “The Godfather: Part III,” came 16 years after the second film in the trilogy. Out of respect for the first two films, I never watched the third, as it didn’t receive anywhere near the critical acclaim. However, there is a famous scene from the third film that I have watched dozens of times on YouTube, and it sums up my relationship with the St. Louis Rams perfectly.
An aging Michael Corleone is pacing in his kitchen. He has been trying to completely legitimize the family business, but it has proved extremely difficult to sever his ties with the old world.
“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!” he wails to his wife.
After the Rams lost to the San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football two weeks ago — having blown a two-touchdown lead — I swore off the Rams like a girl does carbs before spring break. They were up by 21 against the Dallas Cowboys in Week 3 and blew it. They were down 27 to the Philadelphia Eagles in Week 5, then got to within six before a dropped pass by Austin “How Is He Still on the Team?” Pettis late in the fourth quarter ruined what would’ve been a legendary comeback.
So by the time San Francisco took a 17-14 lead in the Monday night game, I was furious to the point that I almost got kicked out of Campus Bar and Grill (sober, nonetheless).
So this past Sunday, for the first time in years, I wore no Rams attire and made little to no effort to actually watch the team’s game against the Seattle Seahawks. That said, I follow too many Rams Twitter accounts to completely ignore the game.
When the Rams got out to an early 14-3 lead in the second quarter, I texted one of my buddies.
“Do you think the Seahawks are going to take the lead before or after the two-minute warning?”
When the Rams made it 21-3, I tweeted, “And it’s 41-24 Seahawks with eight minutes left to play here in the fourth quarter.”
Negative thinking? Absolutely. But that’s what happens when you’ve been through the emotional abuse that comes with being a die-hard Rams fan.
As it turns out my tweet was a little too morbid. With 9:44 to go in the fourth quarter, the Seahawks had cut the Rams’ lead to 21-19, scoring 16 unanswered points.
At this point, I had turned on my TV to watch the inevitable collapse. I knew it was coming. The following possession, Austin Davis was going to throw a pick-six, or Tre Mason was going to fumble, or Brian Quick was going to run to the wrong end zone. _Something_ was going to go terribly wrong.
But color me flabbergasted. The Rams went down and scored to make it 28-19.
Still, I refused to buy back in. And for a time, I was happy with that decision because the Seahawks immediately came back and scored to make it 28-26.
The Rams just had to run the final 3:18 off the clock to defeat the defending Super Bowl champions. By some act of God, the Rams got a first down. They hit the two-minute warning. My group chats were blowing up.
“We’re going to win!”
“This is really happening!”
“Why am I crying?!”
With language I cannot include in this column, I called out my friends for once again falling for the Rams’ cruel tricks. “They’ll find a way to lose,” I said. “They always do.”
And with a little more than 30 seconds to go, the Rams found a new way to lose. Mason ran for a first down, which would have ended the game as the clock would run down. But as Mason was brought to the ground, he fumbled. There was a scramble for the ball, bodies on bodies ripping at each other for the pigskin.
I knew what was going to happen next. The Seahawks would recover, throw a 50-yard pass to get in field goal range, then drill a 50-yarder to make Sunday the worst day of my life.
_BUT GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, THE RAMS RECOVERED! THE CLOCK HIT ZERO! SEATTLE COACH PETE CARROLL WAS INCREDULOUS! THE RAMS HAD BEATEN THE SEAHAWKS!_
So it goes with the Rams. They break your heart for three straight weeks only to beat one of the best team in the league in the fourth week. I can’t explain them. This blissful feeling will be completely gone when the Chiefs stomp us next week.
For now, though, they’ve pulled me back in.
