Thanksgiving break made me realize a lot of things. I remembered how thankful I am for my family, I rediscovered my love for homemade noodles and I learned that I would go to great lengths to avoid homework.
I brought a backpack full of textbooks and notes back home. “This will be good,” I thought. “I have an entire week to get this homework done.” I arrived, put my backpack on my bedroom floor and didn’t move it until I was packing up to leave.
With finals week fast approaching, I know I will be doing all I can to put off studying. So I thought I would compile all of the most effective procrastination techniques and put them in one article.
**Clean your study area**
If you are surrounded by clutter when you are trying to study, that’s all you will be able to focus on. Take a few minutes to clear away any unnecessary books and papers from your desk. The floor is kind of dirty too. You can spare another five minutes to vacuum. The sink is also full of dirty dishes… OK. Just take an hour or so to really clean your apartment.
**Read a book unrelated to what you’re learning**
You have always wanted to read _Pride and Prejudice_. What better time to start then three days before your econ final? Reading is a great way to procrastinate because it tricks your brain into thinking that it’s studying. The human brain can’t really distinguish the difference between texts; it just knows it is reading something.
**Learn how to play a musical instrument**
The harmonica is the Lord’s instrument, and you have put off mastering it for far too long. You’re learning a skill, so it’s not like you’re really wasting time. Also, think of how impressed your friends will be when you break out those four inches of steel around a bonfire. They didn’t need to ask you to play “Piano Man” — they were requesting it with their eyes.
**Pick up smoking**
You are under a lot of stress. Finals are coming up, you’ve gained weight from break, you don’t have a significant other…the list goes on and on. I bet a few cigarettes would really take the edge off. Besides, e-cigs are cool, right?
**Try to quit smoking**
Why did you start smoking?! It’s terrible for you. Now, big tobacco has you by the wallet. It’s time to take back your independence. This will take all of your focus and willpower. You don’t have time to study. How important is a test when your health is hanging in the balance?
**Listen to Taylor Swift’s new album**
It’s delightful!
**Take a nap**
You aren’t going to be able to retain any of the information you are studying unless you are properly rested. Just take a quick, 15-minute power nap. After falling asleep, you will probably wake up two hours later. But the great thing about sleeping is that it feels instantaneous. So even though you actually lost two hours, you won’t feel guilty about it.
Once you get your tests back, you’ll wonder why they are so low. It’s because those professors don’t grade fairly, and they gave you a ton of work. Oh well. You did all that you could.