Often, I see girls being the epitome of a “crazy girlfriend.” Of course, crazy can be defined in many different ways, and people never fail to redefine it in their own absurd manner. The “crazy” I’m talking about here is the girlfriend who obsesses over the little things.

When talking about difficult relationships, you sometimes hear the words “pick your battles.” Yes, you need to pick your battles, but you have to pick them wisely.

When you’re in a relationship that is going so well, it’s easy to freak out when something little goes wrong. Girls ask fight-provoking questions like: “Why is she on your Snapchat best friend list?” “Who was that girl that just hugged you?” “When was the last time you took me on a date?” and “How come you never kiss me in front of your friends?” Those are just a few.

The result of these smaller, petty fights is never meant to be fatal to the relationship. Girls who ask these questions often are only looking to fix the current relationship. They figure if they can bring up the problem and get through it, their relationship will be better than it was before.

Don’t be that girl. I’ve found that a lot of these smaller fights come from jealousy and dissatisfaction, which can sometimes come off as unattractive to your significant other. Usually, no one has made a real mistake in these small cases; someone is just blowing things out of proportion. Although fights are inevitable in every relationship, sometimes it is not worth the energy to fight over the smaller things.

However, it is extremely necessary to argue over the big things. By big things, I mean cheating, affairs and anything else that could be considered detrimental to a relationship. Usually, these involve someone making a big mistake.

In contrast to the small fights, big fights can threaten the future of a relationship, and that alone scares people. Yeah, it may suck that your boyfriend has a girl you hate as one of his Snapchat best friends. And yeah, you’re willing to spend a couple days fighting about it. But no, you’re definitely not ready to call it quits over something as stupid as Snapchat.

The timeline of these big fights is much longer and takes a lot more energy. With that being said, it’s still worth it to fight about something real rather than something petty, despite the emotional toll.

I definitely believe in forgiveness … when there’s a reason to forgive. I do believe that people can change as well, although that does take time. However, I see too many people handing out forgiveness cards like free hugs.

When someone has caused you so much pain and hurt time after time, how could you possibly still want to go back to them? I pondered this question for a while and came to one simple conclusion: When you’re that in love, sometimes you don’t know your life any other way.

It’s hard for people going through relationship tragedies to think about how their life will be without their significant other. This is especially prominent in long-term relationships. People ask themselves, “What will it be like waking up without a ‘good morning’ text?” “Who will I ask to lay in bed with me all day and do nothing?” “How will I deal with them not being around?”

My response to those questions is simply, “It’s going to be okay.” Breakups take lots of time and adjusting, but ultimately if you know you’re in a bad situation, it’s the best thing for you. These big fights are the battles that you should choose to undertake. Don’t let someone get the best of you just because you don’t know what your life would be like without them.

In the future, realize that the small things aren’t always worth your energy, and the big things almost always are. Sometimes what seems like it will hurt you the most, will be the best for you in the long run.