We’ve all been there before: It’s a Friday night, you’re sitting around in your comfies watching your sixth consecutive episode of “Breaking Bad,” about to rip open a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, when you decide to glance at your phone. While checking your various social media accounts, you stumble upon a post that makes your previously relaxing “night in” seem completely embarrassing.
Whether it’s a picture of your old roommate posing with a group of cute guys at a party or a friend’s annoyingly vague tweet about having the “best night ever,” the things you see on social media are bound to occasionally make you feel bad.
In the Internet world, a new acronym has been created that applies pretty directly to social media-related feelings: FOMO, or the Fear of Missing Out.
FOMO is something that a majority of adolescents and young adults feel fairly often, usually brought on by glancing at a status update by a friend who seems to be doing something incredibly exciting or entertaining. The fear of missing out isn’t just for those of us who choose to have the occasional night alone; it seems to have invaded the lives of people who have plans but, after looking at their Instagram or Facebook, are overwhelmed with regret for not choosing to do the thing that’s being posted about.
Social media users are being sucked out of the moment they should be enjoying and thrust into a spiral of jealousy and competition. But why? Why do we care so much what other people are doing?
For some, social media is a way to stay connected with old friends, colleagues and family whose names and numbers would otherwise be forgotten. It is a tool used primarily for communication and networking. But for others, especially the newest generation of adolescents born into an already technology-saturated world, the Internet can be a real source of anxiety and power. Some seek validation from the likes they get on their pictures. Others become paranoid when a friend doesn’t respond to a text but tweets something minutes later. This increasing fear of being left out is creating a new form of drama that people aren’t even aware of. So how do we stop it?
**Don’t check your phone when you’re out:** In today’s world, it’s understandable that sometimes, you need to keep up with important emails or phone calls. But when you’re out doing something with other people, do your best to avoid social media. This will help you to stay present in the moment you’re in and to make the people around you feel valued.
**Realize that it’s okay to say no:** Sadly, we can’t be in two places at once. Occasionally, you’re going to have to choose between one event and another, and that’s OK. It’s not worth running yourself ragged to attempt to make it to both things. The people you turn down will most likely understand.
**Give people your undivided attention:** Simply making eye contact with people when they speak makes them feel heard and validated. We all know the horrible feeling of trying to tell a friend something only to be greeted by the top of their head as they glance down at their phone.
**Remind yourself that it’s probably not that great of a time:** Although it’s cynical, remember that if your social media friends were really having _so much fun_, they probably wouldn’t be pausing to update you on their life every few minutes.
**Have things to look forward to:** Keeping yourself busy with friends and activities is a great way to feel satisfied and content with your life.