To my friends, family, and the Mizzou community,
Racism exists. Racism is pervasive. Racism is subtle. Racism is institutionalized. Racism can be unintentional.
I know this because I sometimes harbor racist thoughts. Not on purpose, but I do. It’s something I acknowledge and am working on. I am working to engage in meaningful dialogue with the oppressed and to question the oppressor. I am reaching out to my friends and mentors to learn about racism, discrimination and prejudice. I am writing because it’s OKAY to be confused, uncomfortable, and (temporarily) dismissive about racism – what really defines you is what you do with that confusion, tension or anger. There are two sides to every story, and I challenge you to think differently. Why does someone feel the way they feel? Perhaps, it’s because they’re emotional, but more often than not, there’s a deeper reason. There is never a good reason to invalidate someone’s emotions or experiences anyway. You can’t tell anyone how to feel, but you can listen.
I am Asian American, and I have been the victim of discrimination and racism, many, many times throughout my life. There are times when I question my safety because of my race, and I always question my social acceptance before meeting anyone new. I’ve conditioned myself to accept rude, degrading and derogatory comments to fit in. However, the hatred I’ve experienced – I can only imagine – is a fraction of what many of my black peers face on a daily basis. Racism does exist – I can attest to this as both the victim and perpetrator. People are hurting. This movement has woken me up, and I hope it wakes you up, too.
Now is the time to listen. The black community at Mizzou is crying for help. Do you hear them? Do you hear the cries of your friends, students, and peers? Do you understand why they are protesting? If you don’t, educate yourself. Read articles. Multiple articles from multiple sources. There is so much to be learned.
Learning is a curve; a sign of good learning is the ability to think critically and ask questions. I have learned so much this past year, this past semester even. My views have evolved. I used to believe that neutrality was the best route, and that I should appease both parties, but I was wrong. Silence of any kind fuels oppression. It is the same silence that happens when a kid is being picked on, and no one says anything. It is the same silence that happens if you witness a crime and choose not to testify. Silence is a privilege. Silence is why Concerned Student 1950 is boycotting UM and Tim Wolfe.
I was at the 104th Homecoming parade when Concerned Student 1950 stopped the event and had a peaceful demonstration. In fact, I was 3 cars behind Tim Wolfe with my Homecoming Royalty partner. I remember being confused and frustrated about situation – I wanted to continue on with the parade and saw the demonstration as an inconvenience. Why did these students have to break up our /seemingly harmless/ tradition? Aren’t there better ways to send a message? My thoughts changed when I watched Concerned Student 1950’s video on YouTube. It was heartbreaking. How would you feel if the UM system President (the person sworn to protect, serve and lead you) did not acknowledge your plea for help? How would you feel if the school whose chant you love was used to drown out your voice?
I am not here to tell you that you are wrong for thinking what you think; I am just here to encourage you to think differently. I am here to tell my friends, family, and the Mizzou community that I will be silent no more. Silence is a form of oppression. I will no longer allow myself to be oppressed, and I will not let my peers face this oppression alone. This is my community, and these are my friends.
I am a student here. I am student at the University of the Missouri. I am a student who has been silent. But tomorrow is a new day.
Kyle Holtzman, MU Senior, kwhqnf@mail.missouri.edu