The St. Louis Rams are gone. Actually, that’s not quite right. The St. Louis Rams aren’t a thing anymore. Do I say the Los Angeles Rams are gone? Whatever. Regardless, the Rams are now in Los Angeles, and St. Louis fans are mad. But when you break it down, maybe they shouldn’t be.

St. Louis fans see the Rams as “their team” because that’s how fandom works. We adopt ridiculously one-sided relationships in which we invest our hearts, souls — and, most importantly, hard-earned dollars — in a team that literally does not care about us except to the extent that it can collect said dollars. It seems pretty illogical if you’ve never been a fan.

Here’s the thing: Stan Kroenke, owner of the St. Louis/Los Angeles Rams and an esteemed True Son of Old Mizzou who was born in Columbia and named after Stan Musial, demanded St. Louis build him a new stadium. That’s pretty reasonable, especially considering his agreement with the city required the Edward Jones Dome remain in the top eight NFL stadiums, in 16 categories, through the 2015 season. If it didn’t, the Rams would be allowed to break the lease, or even relocate, without penalty.

In 2012, only 17 years after the Dome’s construction, Time Magazine ranked it as the seventh-worst stadium in the NFL. If you haven’t been to the Dome, it can only be described as a dump. I’d almost always rather watch from my couch — at least there I can change the channel during breaks in the action rather than watch the stadium jumbotron’s advertisements about how essential Prairie Farms chocolate milk is to an NFL team’s success. Yup, that’s the stuff.

In short, the city didn’t hold up its end of the bargain.

So it was fair for Kroenke to ask for a new stadium. The unfair part is that he never really wanted one — at least in St. Louis. He wanted the team to move to Los Angeles, and he was willing to do whatever it took to follow that move through to completion. Understandably, his manipulation and general lack of loyalty to his home state didn’t sit well with Rams fans.

That brings us to the kicker: If Rams fans hate Kroenke as much as they do, why did they want to fork over their money for a publicly funded riverfront stadium that would _never_ make money for the taxpayers? Why did the taxpayers want to make a terrible investment that would only serve to line the pockets of their hated owner, a man worth well over $7 billion, who was trying to finagle a city and its fans into making him even more?

The most common answer reads something like this: St. Louis fans love the Rams, because the Rams are “their team,” and they want to keep them. That’s it.

I understand that sentiment. I genuinely do. But if St. Louis fans are as good as they claim they are, why not just wait for a new team with a new owner and a better stadium deal — if you simply have to flush your money away on a publicly funded stadium — and reward him for choosing your city instead of trying to leave it? Why wouldn’t St. Louis fans rather have an owner who wants to be there?

Clearly, St. Louis can adopt a new team. St. Louis adopted the Rams, and the (football) Cardinals before them. The Rams originated in Cleveland. They then moved to Los Angeles, St. Louis, and now back to Los Angeles. The football Cardinals originated in Chicago, but they now play in Phoenix after a stop in St. Louis. There should be no doubt that St. Louis can cheer for a team, regardless of where it came from. Only two teams have ever originated in St. Louis, both before 1940 and neither lasted long. And I’ve never seen anyone in St. Louis mourning the loss of the “All-Stars” or “Gunners.” (Those were both actual NFL teams. You can look ‘em up.)

Based on that information, we can conclude that the Rams aren’t “St. Louis’ team” any more than the football Cardinals were before them. If anything, the All-Stars and Gunners are St. Louis’ teams. The Rams would be Los Angeles’s (or even Cleveland’s!). Loyalties change. St. Louis can support another team with the same fervor—and maybe even more—than it supported the Rams, without having to support Kroenke.

So, what’s the answer? Don’t give Stan Kroenke your money.

Hate Kroenke? Great, it’s easy: Don’t let him take your money. If you must spend your money on an NFL team, save it until another comes along. Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait long. In waiting for an NFL team, the greed of the league works in your favor. Another team’s move (hello, Oakland Raiders or Jacksonville Jaguars) or even expansion could provide another St. Louis franchise. It’s not worth capitulating to a greedy billionaire, who quite obviously cares nothing for you, when you could do better in the future.

Kroenke was clearly willing to leverage St. Louis in order to move the Rams to Los Angeles. St. Louis fans, don’t allow your agency to be stripped from you. Use your power, that almighty dollar, and draw the team _you_ want to St. Louis.

In the meantime, you, the terrific fans of St. Louis, can enjoy not paying hundreds of millions of dollars to pad the wallet of a multi-billionaire whom you hate. Plus, you get a Major League Soccer team on the side, and that’s cool — especially cause soccer isn’t actively killing its players. I’ve always felt not killing was pretty cool.

If you still want the NFL in St. Louis, please reconsider. If you still want the NFL in St. Louis after that, be grateful you have the chance to attract a team that wants you as much as you want it.

The Rams’ departure is the right thing for St. Louis.

I know it hurts. That’s OK. Sometimes, the right thing just hurts.