_Hannah Wente is a freshman journalism major at MU. She is an opinion columnist for The Maneater and writes about feminist issues._
The other day, I apologized to a door. As soon as I bumped into it, I blurted out an automatic, “Sorry!” Throughout the next few days, I started noticing how often I immediately said “I’m sorry” or prefaced my statements with an apology. Half the time, it was for things that weren’t my fault or were just simple requests, like asking for a glass of water at a restaurant.
It seems like this is a trait a lot of women share. A [study](http://www.livescience.com/8698-study-reveals-women-apologize.html) from the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, found women say “sorry” more than men, according to livescience.com. According to the study, men will apologize just as often as women do; they just find fewer things worth apologizing for.
I’ve seen men spread their legs and slouch in seats, taking up as much room as possible, while women sit cross-legged and apologize every time someone bumps into them.
Women say sorry when someone interrupts them or before they speak. We apologize before we give an opinion or cause anyone the slightest inconvenience.
We need to stop apologizing for existing. We deserve to be there and take up space without saying sorry for it. We get to have our own personal space. Our opinions are just as valid, and we’re undermining ourselves by automatically and consistently apologizing for it.
Women do this because of the way we are raised in society. Girls are raised to be polite and delicate, practicing their manners with tea parties, while boys roughhouse and get dirty outside. This habit is also passed to us from our mothers who do the same. Men are seen as alphas, allowed to share their opinions loudly. After all, most of our politicians are men.
Apologizing for just being there is a result of leftover gender roles in our society. The stereotype of the docile, obedient housewife who cleans the house while her alpha male husband goes out and makes the money is still unconsciously ingrained in our brains.
Women are a lot more liberated these days. We aren’t expected to be meek and bow to men. We can be strong and share our opinions, so stop apologizing for existing. And I’ll stop asking doors for forgiveness.