_Kurtis Dunlap is a fifth-year senior at MU. He is an English major. He writes about student life as an opinion columnist for The Maneater._
Bonfires, hayrides and pumpkin-spiced everything are all synonymously associated with the fall season. The leaves are changing colors and the daylight is shorter. Fall means only one thing: winter is coming.
The fall season is by far the worst of the four seasons. From the colder weather to the sun going down at 5 p.m., fall is just the slow death of summer and shouldn’t be celebrated as it is.
The end of daylight savings moves the clocks back in November, which means our perception of time is shifted. The sun rises an hour earlier, which means all those mornings where we are sleeping off a hangover, we are not only regretting our decisions from the night before, but also wasting all the sunlight. The sun also sets earlier, so by 5 p.m. when we are finally done with class and homework, the sun has gone away, which for me means it is almost time for bed.
Another thing that sucks about fall is the inconsistent weather. In the morning, it is cold enough where you need pants and a sweatshirt, but by noon or 1 p.m. it has warmed up enough that you are now sweating while walking to class. The temperature slowly gets colder and colder each day, right up until the first snowfall. That warmer afternoon weather doesn’t last long because the sun is going to go down in a few hours, so you can’t even enjoy the last semi-decent weather because you are always in class.
Fall also brings out the pumpkin-flavor everything. The only thing pumpkin-flavored that should be eaten is pumpkin pie. The lattes, beer and Pop-Tarts are just way too much pumpkin for anyone. Pumpkin doesn’t even taste that good unless it is smothered with half a can of Cool Whip. You can celebrate and be happy about getting your pumpkin-spiced latte, but just remember that the snow is coming and chapped lips and frostbite is knocking on the door.
Bonfires and s’mores are also big this time of year, but you can only do that so much. Once every sweatshirt you own smells of smoke from the fire, there is really nothing else to do outside. As exhilarating as looking at a fire is, I don’t think I could do it more than three or four times during fall.
You can keep your sporadic weather, shorter days and pumpkin spice lattes. I’ll be preparing for a long winter that is closer than anyone wants to admit. I won’t be slowing down to look at the pretty colors of the leaves or going on a hayride. I’ll be counting the days until fall is over, because each day that passes means it is one day closer to spring.
