“I don’t date for fun; I date for marriage.”

We’ve all seen or heard some variation of this quote, whether it be while perusing the occasional “relationship goals” account or listening to a friend rant about their latest breakup. I consider myself a romantic, but the notion of looking for a potential life partner within every relationship is unrealistic.

Although it’s easy to expect your life to turn out like a Nicholas Sparks novel, it probably won’t. The idea of a perfect relationship that turns into marriage is heavily idealized in society; in reality it takes more than a few tries to find “the one.”

At this point in our lives, we’re constantly changing. We’re basically completely different people every other year. How can we expect to find a mature and potential lifelong relationship when we aren’t even done maturing ourselves? Dating shouldn’t be a never-ending search for “the one” but rather a chance to meet interesting people who enrich your life in some way.

Very rarely will we date people who are ideal for us in our youth. Oftentimes, younger relationships come out of teenage rebellion or excitement over the mere prospect that someone is into you. As we’ve seen from those awkward middle school “relationships,” dating someone doesn’t always work out. So why add the unnecessary pressure of marriage into the equation?

Realizing that you aren’t going to marry your current significant other isn’t a sad thing; it’s just realistic. And it doesn’t mean that you can’t have fulfilling relationships; it just means that you won’t be crushed when those expectations aren’t met. Embracing the fun side of dating shouldn’t be viewed as negative but a gateway into a relationship that eventually turns into marriage.

Embrace what you have now rather than worrying about the future. When you eventually meet that special someone, the question of marriage will come up organically. But until then, don’t be afraid to have some fun.

_Edited by Claire Colby | ccolby@themaneater.com_