Dating is like a murder mystery. OK, it’s really not at all, but all this “Who’s it gonna be?” suspense has got me thinking about Clue, and the first thing you do when you want to solve a mystery is get to know your suspects.

**_The Suspects_**
These are the guys on my radar. Not all are plausible first kissers, but Aerosmith taught me to dream, and hell, I’m dreaming.

**Romeo:** Tall, dark hair, relatively attractive. Likes to run. Eats breakfast. We met casually in one of our classes, and after a bit of small talk, we realized our living quarters just happen to lie right on top of one another. Amateur mistake No. 1: telling someone I barely know where I live. After this fine discovery, Romeo took to whispering to me through the vents, which might be endearing to someone else, but it just scares the living hell out of me. I think a basilisk is coming for me every time.

**Ringo:** Really tall, enjoys Mario Kart (on N64, bless him), musical. Wears Toms (in a totally hot, heterosexual way). We watched a movie together once. OK, it was with a bunch of other people, and he came because he liked one of the other girls there. But I’m still 82 percent sure we’re meant to be together. Also, he Reddits and knows his memes, and those are actually requirements on my “Perfect Boy List.” (Oh please, you have one too).

**First Semester Fantasy:** Absolute dream boat. Blue eyes, perfect taste. A touch mysterious. I fell in like the first night I met FSF, but he’s the kind of guy that girls fall all over themselves for. Not to say that I can’t beat up any of those other females, but I wouldn’t want it to come to blows (pun intended). Other possible complications include (a) he’s rumored to be seeing someone (I will not believe it until I see it! Show me the proof, people!), (b) he doesn’t even go here anymore, and (c) my friends’ constant need to assert that “You’re perfect for each other!” to his face. In front of me. Guys, I think it’s making things so much less awkward, thanks! But it could totally still happen…right?

**_The Locations_**
Where will it happen? The options are practically endless, but here are my favorites. Boys, please take note and choose from this list. I waited 19 years for this thing. It had better not happen in a darkened basement.

**The Coffee Shop:** Although I’m trying not to get addicted to coffee on account of the fact that I like to keep my paychecks in the bank, I adore coffee shops. They’re cozy, warm and they smell like heaven. Plus, we’d both taste and smell like coffee, and that would just be the cutest thing.

**The Concert:** We’re both listening to one of our favorite bands perform live, and just when the band starts to get warmed up and in the groove, it happens. Everything needs a soundtrack, and a first kiss is no exception.

**The Park:** I love nature and parks, so having an outdoor first kiss would be perfect. Except it’s about zero degrees outside right now, so this one would have to wait a few months.

**The Private Firework Display:** I’m completely kidding. Who do you think I am, the Bachelorette?

Although I’m having fun considering all the possibilities, I know it probably won’t be Ringo in the park with a bouquet of flowers. I can’t predict what will happen, and I can’t orchestrate it either. It’s probably going to really suck, and that’s OK with me. I’ve spent years thinking and planning and arranging, and now it’s time to open myself to the possibility of a kiss just… happening. I need to stop playing Clue and start going with the flow, because the best kind of love story is the one you don’t expect.