Tarsem Singh is the Duff Goldman of directors. If you don’t know who Duff Goldman is, he is the star of the Food Network reality show “Ace of Cakes,” which follows Duff and his merry band of hipster bakers as they construct absolutely magnificent and beautiful cakes. Hand-painted, Van Gogh-inspired cakes! Cakes that look like cars! Hogwarts! In cake form! No one makes cakes more beautiful than Duff. But then take a bite. The fondant tastes like a little like burnt marshmallow, but with less flavor. The cake, having been decorated and primed over for five days, is dry. There are these weird wooden dowels in it, inserted strategically for “structural support,” which are hard and woody and inedible and irritating.
That’s Singh for you. No one makes movies as beautiful as he does. If you’ve seen “The Fall,” “The Cell,” or “Immortals” you probably still have some of the gorgeous individual moments from those films burned indelibly into your brain. He has as unique and impressive a visual style as any other filmmaker, alive or dead. Truly. But then move past the visuals and what do you have? Awkward, unrealistic dialogue. Lazy storytelling. Disappointment.
“Mirror Mirror,” a re-imagining of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” and Tarsem Singh’s latest, unfortunately keeps up with the trend. The world he has created for this film is beautiful, original, whimsical and just the right amount of dark. Much of this is due to the masterful costume work of the late Eiko Ishioka, whose ornate and over-the-top gowns ought to earn her a posthumous Oscar nomination or win. And beyond the clothes, everything else visual just shines with originality, vision and sparkle.
Too bad everything else in the film fizzles. For one thing, Singh seems to have no idea what kind of tone he wants to strike. Is this film funny? Is it serious? Is it satire? There are several moments that are so cliché and groan-inducing that you think, “Oh, there’s no way this is serious.” But then you think, “But if this isn’t serious, and this is a joke…why isn’t it funny?” The film exists in a sort of gray area that isn’t quite one thing and isn’t quite another, so it ends up being nothing.
And then there’s the acting, about which I can only say at least they tried. Julia Roberts is by far the biggest name in the cast, and as the Queen she has the juiciest role. She certainly gives it a good amount of effort, but I wish she would have let go more, been even crazier and delved fully into the mania the role called for. Armie Hammer as Prince Alcott is amateurish at best. And Lily Collins as Snow White is cute, but forgettable.
It would be untrue to say that I didn’t enjoy myself watching this movie. I laughed, hard, several times. But it was laughter _at_, not _with_ ,the film, which is not exactly what I assume filmmakers hope for as far as reactions go. Still, ridicule and incredulity are better than boredom, I guess. And if even that isn’t enough for you, with “Snow White and the Huntsman” coming this summer, you only have to wait a few more months for the next Snow White adaptation to roll around, if that’s your sort of thing.
