We’re all just waiting for the end.

Isn’t that what they’re saying? That in just two months’ time the Earth’s going to tap out and we’re all gonna go “poof”? That’s 2012. The Mayan prophecy. The year of the collective tombstone.

You know what? Maybe this is our world’s final scene. I mean, things are pretty exciting lately: Tim Tebow is half-naked on magazine racks nationwide, Deb knows Dexter’s serial killing secret and just the other day some guy literally jumped back to Earth from space. Then there’s that whole election thing coming up, too. Maybe they’re right. Maybe we’re going out in style. Woo! It’s a good time to be alive.

You’d like to think that’s how the world would end, with cool stuff happening left and right. It’s like every little corner of the world is walking on stage before the final curtain, one by one, looking for one more round of applause.

This weekend it was the sports world’s turn. And damn, it took some kind of bow. Either that or it ran with some R. Kelly advice. Because this freakin’ weekend we had us some fun.

The weekend fun began when most weekends tend to, on Friday night. No matter whose side you were on for the Nationals-Cardinals game, it featured a few unarguable superlatives. Elimination game. Down by three after three batters. Down by six before going through the lineup once. Ace pitcher gone before the fourth. Walk. Double. Run. The comeback starts.

Double. Single. Walk. Wild pitch. Free run. Down by four. Another walk. Down by three. Light.

Two innings. Zeros. Walk. Double. Grounder. Another run. More outs. Home run. Down by one. Closer in. 96. Hook. Double. Ground out. Strikeout. Two strikes. Ball. Ball. Ball. Walk. Another walk. Ground ball. Off the glove. Comeback complete. Line drive. Ball game.

Exhilarating. Incredible. Devastating.

That was just Friday.

New day, new sport, with Missouri welcoming the Chosen Ones into town. They came (into the state for the first time in 34 years), they saw (a Tiger team unmanned and overmatched) and they conquered, swiftly spilling crimson blood all over Faurot Field.

It was already 27-0 Crimson Tide when almost sacredly, a monstrous rain came over Memorial Stadium to temporarily wash away the visitor’s murderous sins. But the flood just cleaned the slate, and when play resumed, just cleared the way for more bloodshed. Not many people in this town were happy with Saturday, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t fascinating.

Things were just as interesting around the country. Texas Tech welcomed national champion hopeful West Virginia to Lubbock with a 35-point shellacking nobody on “College GameDay” saw coming. In Bloomington, Ohio State gave up 49 points to Indiana on the road – and won. Texas A&M and Louisiana Tech entered their matchup ranked one place away from each other, then scored 116 points combined with the Aggies winning by just two.

By nightfall, it was back to the diamond, where the Yankees looked dead until Raul Ibanez’s best Ruth impression brought them back to life in the most dramatic of fashions. Then midnight struck, as it nearly never does in the Bronx, with New York losing the game and their captain to a broken ankle. First the greatest Game 5 of all time, now Derek Jeter’s lying on the ground? _Has there been a more gut-wrenching playoff ever?_

Speaking of heartbreaking, consider A.J. Feeley. The Arizona Cardinals kicker kicked off Sunday with a game-tying, franchise record 61-yard bomb against Buffalo, only to miss a measly 31-yarder at the end of regulation and see his team blow a win at home to the Bills.

Elsewhere, Russell Wilson beat Tom Brady. Tebow completed a pass. Aaron Rodgers threw six touchdowns. Both the Browns and Lions won. In the same weekend.

And if all that wasn’t enough for you, there’s more. If you’re into hoops, you could have checked out the first-ever Mizzou Madness on Friday night, during which Keion Bell dunked over a six-man power-I.

Now it’s time for my goodbye, my bow. I hope these words have done some justice in describing what this weekend was. Soak it in, sports. You did really well. I hope you stick around until the bitter end.