Lakota Coffee is home to the best coffee and the weirdest clientele.

I’ve been going there at least twice a week for the past month or so. It was its impeccable iced coffee with vanilla and soy milk that drew me there, but something else keeps me coming back for more.

If you’ve ever been inside Lakota, you know it’s unique. There’s moose decor and rocking chairs, all to create a “rustic western atmosphere,” as [the shop’s website](http://stores.lakotacoffee.com/StoreFront.bok) puts it.

I would describe it as homey, as if you were staying at your uncle’s cabin in upper-Wisconsin for the weekend. While at your uncle’s cabin, you get to go hiking and climbing and whatever else you do, but you also get family. And all of your family. Even the weird ones.

So I guess you could say Lakota is kind of like a family reunion, and whenever I go there, I always overhear the strangest tidbits of conversations. In one day, I heard a Christian rock band assign parts based on the Bible and an artist talk about how his work depicts only strippers.

Over the past month, I’ve heard some weird things. Here’s a collection of some of my favorites:

+ “You want to make your dog excited.” (After eavesdropping for about five minutes longer, I realized he was talking about positive reinforcement to get your dog to perform tricks, but that was a slightly frightening thing to hear without context.)
+ “It made me feel alive.” (I thought this man was talking about a trip somewhere, a religious experience, a really great concert — I don’t know, something that makes one “feel alive.” But he was actually talking about the first time he ate sushi.)
+ “He also set himself on fire two weeks ago and didn’t tell me.” (From what I overheard, the man didn’t _mean_ to set himself on fire, so I guess he’s got that going for him… along with the second degree burns.)
+ “It was a DUI.” “Shit happens, dog.” (I don’t know if it was more surprising that this man played off a DUI as the equivalent to missing a bus, or that he called someone “dog” unironically.)
+ “I’m terrible at writing sonnets.” (OK, Emily Dickinson.)
+ “No one in their right mind would buy blue suede toe-shoes.” (Agreed.)