I live in a house with dozens of Kansas City natives. I’d like to say there are pros and cons that come with this, such as lively and productive debates about who has the superior barbecue or public parks — KC or my hometown of St. Louis. But really there are only cons, and none are more annoying than the level of passion these guys have about the Royals and Chiefs.

The Kansas City Royals have not been to the playoffs since 1985. (The outcome of that playoff appearance is completely irrelevant for the purpose of this column.) Yet the optimism these Royals fans bring to every season borders on insanity.

As a Cardinals fan, I find it pathetic and amusing. Royals fans follow their team religiously twelve months out of the year, hoping, praying that _this_ year is finally _the_ year. For me (and most St. Louis fans) the Cardinals’ season starts Sept. 1 and ends whatever day in October the World Series finishes.

For the longest time during my childhood, I truly believed the Cardinals had the Best Fans in Baseball. (Relevant side-note: Follow [@BestFansStLouis](https://twitter.com/BestFansStLouis) on Twitter for evidence as to why Cards fans are _not_ the best fans in baseball.)

The Cardinals sold out virtually every home game and almost everyone I knew was at the very least a casual Cards fan. But then, a few summers ago, I was working a basketball camp at Missouri Valley College and got into a discussion with a high school coach who was a native of Kansas City.

He said that undoubtedly Royals fans were better fans that Cardinals fans. I actually laughed in his face.

“How can you possibly justify that?” I asked him. “We have 40,000 at Busch on a Tuesday night against the Marlins. You guys can’t get 20,000 in the K on a Friday night against the Yankees.”

He coolly responded.

“Let’s say the Cardinals just had 25 straight losing seasons,” he retorted. “Now how many fans are showing up to that Marlins game?”

I doubt the coach — Jay Blossom of Webster Groves, someone I reluctantly call a friend — even remembers the conversation, but it has stuck with me ever since. It’s easy to go to games when Adam Wainwright is pitching, Yadier Molina is catching, Albert Pujols is playing first and you’re in the playoffs every year. But when you’re a Royals fan, when the biggest star your organization has had since George Brett is Mike Sweeney and it’s surprising when you finish in any place other than last, it’s tough to draw a crowd.

Then there are the Chiefs fans, with their legendary tailgates (that they love to talk about without you asking) and their stupid “Red Friday” (who comes up with the idea to wear their team’s color two days before they play?).

Do you know what it’s like to wake up every Sunday morning for four months to Native American war music blasting at 8 a.m.? It’s terrifying!

But it’s not the Sunday mornings I dread, it’s the Sunday afternoons. I say this because if my Rams lose and the Chiefs win, I go into hiding. The house becomes a literal hell with 20-year-old males, clad in red, screaming Chiefs chants throughout the house with that damn war music shaking the entire foundation.

What sets apart the Chiefs fans though is the number of females I see wearing Chiefs attire on Fridays and Sundays in the fall. And no, I don’t mean tank tops with Chiefs logos (cc: female Cardinals fans). I’m talking about full-on jerseys, and not just Jamaal Charles or Alex Smith jerseys, either. I’ve seen multiple girls sporting Tamba Hali and Eric Berry jerseys as well. I’ll never forget the day I meet a female Rams fan wearing a jersey with a last name other than “Warner”, “Faulk”, “Bruce” or “Holt,” because it will be the day I meet my wife.

So to Chiefs fans, I express my admiration, and say I’m excited to finally get the tailgate experience when the Rams visit Arrowhead Stadium in a few weeks. And to Royals fans, I tip my Cardinals flatbill and say, “I hope to see you in October.”