Like most people, I enjoy the unpredictability that comes with March Madness. That’s why I don’t listen to the talking heads when I’m filling out my bracket; they don’t know any more than you or I do.

There is certain criteria, though, that I do adhere to when filling out my bracket, and most of that comes from kenpom.com, which is run by Ken Pomeroy. Pomeroy, for the thousands of you reading this who don’t know, is basically the college basketball version of Bill James, the famed baseball writer who popularized sabermetrics in baseball. Basically, Pomeroy uses a bunch of higher math and algorithms to figure out who the best teams in the country are, even factoring in things such as luck. I’m not the math whiz that I was back in the day (perfect score on the Bishop DuBourg math contest in sixth grade, no biggie), so I defer to Pomeroy and his graduate degree in atmospheric science when it comes to arithmetic.

According to Pomeroy (and everyone else, but that’s not the point), Virginia and Villanova were two of the top five teams in the country. He had Virginia as the No. 2 defensive team in the land, while he had Villanova ranked as No. 4 in terms of offense. So, trusting in Pomeroy and his math, I put both teams in my Elite Eight with Villanova advancing to the Final Four.

You want to know what Pomeroy and I didn’t take into account though? **COMMON _BLEEPING_ SENSE.**

Yes, ‘Nova and Virginia had two of the best years in their programs’ histories (for goodness’ sake, ‘Nova was 32-2), but that doesn’t change the path they had in front of them in order to get to the Elite Eight and, ultimately, the Final Four. It doesn’t change the fact they would both have to go through Rick _Bleeping_ Pitino and Tom “March” Izzo (it also doesn’t change the fact that ‘Nova and coach Jay Wright simply hate the month of March).

Coming into this year’s tournament, Pitino had been to 10 Elite Eights in his last 19 seasons as a head coach. That stat is actually beyond my ability to mentally comprehend. _HE GOES TO THE ELITE EIGHT EVERY OTHER YEAR._ But no, no, no, they’re going to lose to the mighty Panthers of Northern Iowa in the second round, I told myself.

Then there’s Izzo, the “Wizzord,” the “Magician of March.” Until last year (when they lost in the Elite Eight), every four-year player who had played for Izzo at Michigan State had been to a Final Four — he’s been at Michigan State for 20 years, by the way. But no, no, no, Virginia would be so motivated by last year’s tournament loss to Michigan State that this year, they would bounce Sparty in the second round. Wrong again, Mr. Schmidt.

My point is, folks, that everyone has their own way of filling out their bracket. I like to use stats and recent tournament history to support my picks. Other people pick based on which mascot could kill the other one. Regardless of how you pick, I want you to remember a few rules:

Always Izzo.

Always Pitino.

Never ‘Nova.

And in the name of all that is holy, never, _EVER_ kansas.