_MOVE chatted with The Maneater’s resident sexpert, Edna Smith — better known as Sex Edna. Check out her Valentine’s Day wisdom, as told to MOVE Editor MacKenzie Reagan._

**MOVE:** First off, Edna, what’ve you been up to since we heard from you last? Any new stories or words of wisdom?

**Sex Edna:** It’s been so long! Since our last goodbye, I’ve tried the Grapefruit Blowjob, which is a technique pioneered and [made viral last year by sexpert Auntie Angel’s entertaining YouTube video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD7PKKstAcg). When my boyfriend first told me about it, I became intrigued (and okay, a little hungry) because I love grapefruit. You’d think using one in bed would lead to stinging or general weirdness, but it was a fun and highly successful experiment to giggle about together. You can find the instructional video online, but make sure you lay down a towel and check to be sure no one has citrus allergies. Or weird papercuts.

**M:** What are you doing for Valentine’s Day this year?

**SE:** Nothing … yet! Can you guys print a winking emoji? You should print a winking emoji here.

**M:** Do you have any juicy stories about V-Days past?

**SE:** I’ve actually never celebrated Valentine’s Day with a romantic interest. But my favorite V-Day is definitely last year — one of my best friends and I got take-out barbecue ribs and shoveled it into our faces while we binged on the just-released second season of “House of Cards.” It doesn’t get sexier than a night with Frank Underwood, and at the risk of sounding goopy, it was actually better than any kind of date.

**M:** Let’s say you’re in a new relationship and it’s your first Valentine’s Day together. How do you make it sweet but not awkward?

**SE:** Make sure to talk and make some form of a plan with your sweetie-bae about a week out. That will prevent either of you from building any grandiose expectations on the day of, and you’ll both know what you’re looking forward to. It doesn’t have to be a fancy, aphrodisiac dinner and 5-star hotel sex; make it small but sentimental. My personal go-to: burn a CD with Otis Redding tracks, and bring over a bottle of sweet wine.

**M:** OK, now what if it’s a long-term relationship? How do you keep it hot and not cheesy?

**SE:** Get the hell off campus, drive somewhere and spend the day exploring a different place together. There’s nothing hotter than feeling like adventurers together. Kansas City and St. Louis are great, but even going to Hermann, Missouri (about one hour’s drive from Columbia) will work. It’s a sleepy little town that looks like a Midwestern Stars Hollow and hosts a killer Oktoberfest, but their wineries and German fare restaurants are romantic year-round. Whether you end up staying the night on your mini-vacation is up to you, but the thrill from a change of scene will vastly improve sex anywhere. Promise.

**M:** What about long distance? Is sexy Skype cool?

**SE:** Yes! We are so past the dumb connotations that being sexual online used to carry. Wear something sexy (or nothing at all!), lock your bedroom door and Skype ‘em in. Vibrators and the like are totally invited. The worst part about long distance is that it feels like you’re not allowed to be sexy around each other. Make a pact this V-Day to change that. Just be sure to ask what your partner is comfortable or uncomfortable with and to ban roommates from walking in.

**M:** Valentine’s Day checklist –– what are five ingredients to a sweet, sexy V-Day?

**SE:** Strawberries, melted chocolate chips, a good perfume or cologne, tea candles and massage oil. The theme: sensuality. Melting chocolate chips and dipping strawberries is not only cheaper than that pre-dipped B.S. you buy for $40 at a store, but it’s also fun to lick off your fingers … and each other, duh. Good smells and good candlelight benefit everyone, but if you bring massage oil over, game over. You have just won Valentine’s Day.

**M:** What’s one song that’s always on your playlist for gettin’ freaky?

**SE:** Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” is probably responsible for 80 percent of the sex being had in this world, and I firmly believe it brings out the seductive cheeseball in all of us. But okay, also, that Ed Sheeran “Thinking Out Loud” song? I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me just completely melt.

_For more sex advice and relationship wisdom, follow Edna on Twitter: [@sex_edna](https://twitter.com/sex_edna)._