When I was younger, I never used the word nigga. My dad told me that using this word was perpetuating the oppression we suffered from the hands of white men, and it was too close to the word nigger.

When I got to high school, I realized that other black teens were not willing to take the same advice. I wanted all of them to know that by using that word, we were perpetuating our own self harm. I soon realized that none of the black kids at my school were going listen to me and eventually began using the word myself, because I could no longer see why I was going to refrain if no one else was.

Nigga is hard to get away from — It’s in our rap music, our conversations, our movies. By not using it, I felt as if I was taking myself out of a little bit of our culture. I wasn’t able to rap all the rap lyrics, having to take pathetic pauses like a child when the curse words came on, and even so I was using all the curse words so what was the problem with adding one more? I also realized that he himself continued to use the word, while advising teens not to. If none of us can refrain from using nigga, then why would I?

Nigga. There’s some confusion about who can and can’t use the word. I’m allowed to use the word nigga. Black people are allowed to use the word nigga. Don’t question me about why I can use the word nigga ten times in five minutes and you’re not allowed to use the word nigga.

“Why is it so bad that I use the word, but you can?” Someone asked me that the other night. Using the word nigga is only allowed among the black community because calling someone a nigga is never used with ill intentions.

Those outside of the black community are not allowed to use that word, end of story — and getting away with saying it doesn’t make it OK.

Nigga is something that I as a member of the black community am allowed to say. And to be honest, maybe I shouldn’t say it either. But the outsiders, the ones that know they’re not a part of our community, need to refrain from using what they know is not theirs.