Dear Sunbee:
I’m struggling to make friends here. What are some ways to find friends if you’re shy?

Shy Student

Dear Shy Student,
I’ll tell you a quick story. There was a person who wanted nothing more than to make new friends coming to college for the first time. In high school, they didn’t have many friends. Yet, when it became time for college they immediately shut down.

They were afraid no one would accept them for who they were and the fact that they were picky about who they were friends with. But they overcame this by using the things they loved most to get out of their comfort zone.

By taking a poetry class, they found a community that brought them out of their shell and made them confident in themselves. They shared their poetry, expressed themselves however they wanted and made it past their fears. That person is me, Sunbee.

Let’s normalize the fact that it doesn’t matter where you are in life when it comes to building relationships. Making friends is hard, especially when it seems like everyone already has found their groups.

MU is a big campus. The amount of students can be intimidating when you are by yourself, but no worries — you are not alone. I am here to help you take baby steps to creating relationships with those around you.

Let’s talk about what you like to do. What are your hobbies? Likes? Dislikes? Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Ask yourself these questions to start your search. MU has many — and I mean many — organizations that hold a place for all students. A quick search on MU Engage can show you many groups on campus, and you can find one that suits your interests.

From languages, dancing, and baking to astronomy and culture — the amount of opportunities waiting for you are endless. Dip your foot in the water and test out whatever you choose.

To find interesting groups I highly recommend looking at the flyers placed across campus. They are on TVs in the Student Center, posted on the bulletin board outside of Strickland Hall, on the light poles across campus and inside almost every building.

These flyers hold information about new groups and bands, events happening over the weekend and even community service opportunities. All it takes is going to one of these events to be able to make friends.

Also, consider taking a trip downtown to popular places like Ragtag Cinema, Lakota Coffee Company, Shortwave Coffee and Sparky’s Homemade Ice Cream. These places are the hotspots for hanging out. If you’re in any of these spots I’ve mentioned, compliment someone’s outfit or jewelry. Ask around if there are any events happening to build up the confidence to attend one.

I understand it might be hard going outside of your comfort zone and being the first person to say something. Remember: Try taking baby steps. Only do what you are comfortable with. Maybe you only go to one event for the entire week and say hi to one person. Or you attend an event and only stay for 10 minutes. That’s okay. You will know when you are ready to get out there more.

Look for the event that meets your interests and needs, and take a leap of faith.

It is going to be a scary path to go down. It may take a minute to find others who are what you want, but the wait is worth it. Do not give up.

I know you can do this.

With love and sunshine for you,
Sunbee

Edited by Ever Cole, ecole@themaneater.com
Copy edited by Matt Guzman and Jacob Richey