This column was hard to write. No, not because I didn’t have any ideas but because of another set of incidents.

The One Mizzou column I wrote three weeks ago garnered a lot of support, agreement and, in some circles, prompted discussion. It also caused objection.

I mentioned the old stufftodo.missouri.edu website and my difficulties with it last semester. I chose not to edit that paragraph, having written this column in the summer because I was being selfish with my time, and this led to ORG sending me some emails and some staff to confront me in person about it.

My defense? It was an example in an opinion column that had more important points than the website. If that is what they chose to focus on, that’s their prerogative. So, here is my apology to ORG for not editing that paragraph. I’m sorry if I caused any inconveniences. These sets of interactions have made me incredibly uncomfortable, and I just wanted to get all of it out in the open.

I feel better now I don’t have that weight on me, so let’s continue.

Every time I walk into the MU Student Center, I feel like I need the “Mean Girls” cafeteria map.

Normally, the only reason I go into the MU Student Center is to heat my lunch. I stealthily make my way to Mizzou Market and try to sit someplace conspicuously, in order not to pass the cluster of brown folk. I’m acquainted with most of them, and I have no problem saying hello, nor am I worried about them “sucking” me into the table. I will say my hellos and continue on my way.

My motivation for sitting farther away is I don’t want to conscientiously promote the idea of voluntary segregation.

This doesn’t just happen at the student center, and it doesn’t just happen with the Indian/Pakistani students. It happens in the Rec, the dining halls, the library, Memorial Union, with Hispanic students, black students, East Asian students, international students and the list continues.

At the most recent SASA meeting, we talked about negotiating a minority identity on a majority white campus. Multiple students emphasized the level of comfort they felt when surrounded by people they look like. One member mentioned, “If I’m talking and slip in a Punjabi word, it’s not weird, like it would normally be.” Another mentioned high school and their “school” and “brown” friends.

It’s self-segregation. Growing up, most minority students learn to have separate groups of friends. The friends from school are closer in proximity; the friends from a cultural identity are usually from around the greater community. This translates when we move on to college, but how it manifests is disturbing.

Beverly Tatum, the author of “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?,” suggests the reason we self-segregate is because we have an identity to affirm, and really, we aren’t comfortable talking about race.

This is true. Most first-years don’t have enough life experience to have a formed identity. I know I didn’t. Minority students are in a passive-aggressive environment of white students who may not know anything about their background. Hopefully, these students ask questions and try to widen their worldview, but this isn’t a guarantee. Fear of talking about race, well, that is guaranteed. Especially as underclassmen, we skip around issues of identity to “better fit in.”

For those who have read this far, when was the first time you had any sort of healthy, productive conversation about race? What was the context? Was this in a classroom? Was this a friend explaining that “illegal” isn’t synonymous with “Mexican” and that people aren’t illegal? Was it a friend coming out to you? Was it school-related?

I’m asking you these questions with the futile hope of sparking a conversation, because that is what’s needed. We can’t change self-segregation through force. We need to change how the culture at MU negotiates race and identity. We need to change our environment so that eventually we can truly say our campus is a safe space for people of all religions, ethnicities, sexual identities, abilities and ideologies.