Although it is widely known that black people make up a large fraction of urban, low socioeconomic neighborhoods, it is remarkable how many white people assume that’s how every black person grows up. Although it has always been apparent to me that many white people think this way, the subject was brought to my attention while having a discussion with a white male friend of mine. While talking about parties, the conversation migrated toward National Pan-Hellenic Council fraternities. He even told me that he had one NPHC fraternity in particular that he would love to join.
“Out of all the fraternities on campus, they are the ones I’d love to join,” he said. “But I don’t think they would accept me.”
I explained that though it’s not traditional, I doubt that any NPHC fraternity would turn their back on him simply because he was white. To judge someone based on the color of their skin would defeat the purpose of the organization. He then proceeded to say that even if they did not turn him away, he still had doubts as to whether or not he would be accepted based on the fact that he did not have a similar background, or upbringing, as the men within NPHC fraternities. Examples were even given: “I was not poor. I had two parents.” Because he did not come from a background similar to the examples given, he assumed he would have nothing in common with the men belonging to NPHC fraternities.
The misperception is that the majority of black people had difficult childhoods, growing up in single-parent households, most likely on food stamps or other government help, and that most of us grew up below the poverty line. According to the 2012 census, only 33.2 percent of all black families with children under the age of 18 live below the poverty line, so why is it just assumed that the common upbringing of a black child is in extremely impoverished conditions when the majority of us do not live like that?
Those who live off of food stamps are mostly white, with 40.2 percent of participants in the food stamp program being white households as of 2013, compared to 25.7 percent being black households. So why is it assumed that we are the majority on food stamps?
Most black students that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting on campus are not extremely poor, if poor at all. Many of us do not qualify for need-based financial aid from MU, and many of us have grown up with two parents in our daily lives. “Hard childhoods” are rarely discussed but should never be assumed, because most of the time, the assumption is wrong. It should not be assumed that the childhood of a black person is a hard one, because most black children are raised by caretakers that do their best to provide a stable living environment for us to thrive in. I’m sure that no one wants to insult our caretakers by implying otherwise. I don’t look at you and assume you had an unfortunate childhood — I would appreciate if you gave me the same courtesy.
