Roommates: can’t live with ‘em, can’t live… actually, you could probably do without them. Everyone has a different roommate experience. I’ve heard the good, the bad and the just plain ugly.

But roommates are something pretty much every college student is going to have to deal with at some point. It’s kind of weird if you think about it. Many of us have gone through our entire lives having a room all to ourselves. We are shipped off to college expected to live more independently, yet we are forced to share a small, enclosed space with another person.

However, your roommate situation is not _guaranteed_ to be gosh-darn awful. In this aspect, we are forced to be more independent, because the experience of sharing a room is what you make of it.

I encountered my fair share of awkward roommate moments over the course of my first year at MU. Aside from having mild catfights about the messiness of our room, whose turn it was to take out the trash and our constant dog person vs. cat person dynamic (yeah, if all the cats on the surface of the earth decided to go up in spontaneous flames, I would only feel slightly bad), the biggest issue was, you guessed it, _boys_. Yeah, I know, even I feel like it’s middle school again. Er, an R-rated middle school.

I, being the super awkward girl I am, was always fearful that I would wake up to a random boy getting freakalicious four feet away from me at night. Don’t get me wrong — as fun as a three-person sleepover with a total stranger sounds, I didn’t really want to take part. Especially considering the guy could potentially be a complete stranger to me. I mean, for all I knew, this guy could be a crazy ax murderer (which, after reviewing my previous columns, seems to be a common assumption), or, even worse, the [“Bear Hug Bandit.”](https://www.themaneater.com/stories/2012/10/26/bear-hug-release-followed-similar-incident-descrip/)

There was one time I went into my room to find my roommate sleeping next to a large mass I could only assume to be a “man friend.” Wanting to be respectful, give her privacy and not be witness to some sort of horizontal tango, I slowly retreated out of the room grabbing as many nighttime necessities as possible. I might have accidently grabbed a tampon instead of my toothbrush in my panicked dash and had to use my finger to brush my pearly whites instead. I felt no shame.

That night, I uncomfortably slept on the floor of my friend’s room. I’m guessing I got around 30 minutes of sleep. I went back to my room around 10 a.m., giving the midnight intruder plenty of time to skedaddle back to the dark, self-absorbed abyss from which he probably came.

I slowly opened the door to my room, peering in at my roommate’s bed. And you know what I saw? A body pillow. I slept on the floor for a stupid _body pillow_ (#awkwardgirlproblems).

The thing is, these uncomfortable encounters could have been avoided if we didn’t have such a severe lack of communication. Speaking of which, don’t think I am completely innocent in this roommate situation. I can guarantee I did things that pissed my roommate off just as much. It was simply a lack of communication on both of our parts. We did kind of talk about things at the beginning of the year, but clearly not enough. Looking back on it, I wish I had spoken up. I know it’s too late now, but I can only hope that if I did confront her, she would have at least taken my feelings into consideration.

It’s true having a roommate is part of the “college experience,” but there are times where a line needs to be drawn. Avoid running into serious issues by talking with your roommate at the beginning of the year and, maybe, drawing up a roommate contract to set some ground rules and consequences.

Don’t subject yourself to living with something that you don’t feel comfortable with. It’s not just _their_ room; it’s your space too. If you find yourself in a situation that you feel uncomfortable or unsafe in, talk to your RA about alternate solutions. They can help mediate between you and your roommate or, if necessary, guide you in the path of applying for a room change.

_Editor’s note: [Clarification](https://www.themaneater.com/stories/2013/8/30/clarification-third-wheeling-your-own-dorm-room/)_