Here they are: the five words that no one wants to be on the receiving end of.

“You’re such a great friend.”

Poof. Just like magic, you’ve been placed within the friend zone. Any thread of hope has been cut in half. The pursuit of love has ended, and there is little to be done.

The friend zone is an oh-so-familiar dwelling that most will inhabit at some point or another in life. After months of spending time trying to impress that one special boy or girl, it all comes to an abrupt halt.

Once you’re there, you begin to question everything that occurred over the time spent in each other’s company: Did I say something wrong? Maybe she misinterpreted this? Did I not flirt with him enough? Is poop not an okay conversation starter? What happened?

Well, folks, I’m here to tell you the truth. It may sting a little, but the science (my opinion) is irrefutable.

There are two reasons for being friend-zoned. Either this other person is just oblivious or they’re just not that into you.

Let’s start with “oblivious.” This is a situation that I have been on both sides of. More often than not, I’m the one friend-zoned, but on rare occasion, I’m the ‘zoner.

They just don’t get it. You flirt, you giggle, you brush their arm, but nothing happens. Your elbows are practically holding hands, for goodness sake! Why don’t you understand that I have a Texas-sized crush on you?

From the other perspective, when those rare guys ask me out, I panic. I never realize that someone likes me, so I friend-zone myself from the beginning. Then, by the time the guy works up the courage to ask me to get coffee, I’ve already filed them under “friend.” I assume they just want to drink coffee in a totally platonic setting because I can’t comprehend that someone would be interested in me.

Of course, this could be the result of never actually having gone on a date. I don’t know what a date even consists of nowadays. When people ask to “hang out,” I think they mean hang out in a friendship way.

Stop sending mixed messages, people. Just use the term “date” so we’ll know what the heck you’re talking about and stop being awkward.

Now let’s take a look at the “they’re just not that into you” reasoning.

I often miss social cues. I’ve managed to convince myself that everyone is my friend who appreciates potty humor. Apparently, that’s a false statement. Some guys/girls don’t actually like when you openly chat about bodily functions. Rumor has it that this actually turns them away. Who knew, right?

It’s a difficult concept for me to understand that not everyone thinks the same way as I do. I think I’m entertaining, but maybe the guy I’m interested in prefers boring girls. I’m a brunette, but maybe they’re really into redheads. Maybe he likes people with bad taste in music? Maybe they just aren’t that into me?

Asking someone out on a date takes a lot of courage. Hence the reason I’ve never asked someone out. However, people that I’m just not that interested in have asked me out. Now don’t get me wrong, they’re great friends. (See what I did there?) They are always sweet, intelligent guys and I can only speak highly of them, but I’m just not interested in them romantically.

Everyone complains about being stuck in the friend zone, but how often do we stop and consider that maybe it’s for the best? Maybe the person I’m crushing on is completely aware of my crush, but knows that we wouldn’t be good together. I mean, that’s why I reject guys. (Only like three times ever. It’s not like I’m a hot commodity.)

Maybe from their perspective things would be great, but I know that a relationship with that person wouldn’t be fun for either of us, so why fake it just to have a significant other? In the end, it will hurt them more than just saying no from the beginning.

So here is the lesson to take home: You know how awesome you are. You just haven’t found that one person who can’t live without your awesomeness yet.