“NOT A CULT. I PROMISE,” reads the MU freshman’s sign as he walks through Speakers Circle. Henderick “Mort” Morton has been using this sign to recruit members to the Mizzou Squirrel Observation Society, which he founded and is the president of.

“I was just walking to my class one day and I saw Mort standing out there with his sign and I said, ‘That is a man I could get behind,” club Vice President Ruth Williamson said.

The Squirrel Observation Society is not currently recognized as a student organization by MU, but the club has applied for recognition, which is a process that can take several months to complete. According to its Instagram, the Squirrel Observation Society is investigating the goals and motives of squirrels in an effort to end their “tyranny.”

“Call us crazy if you want,” Morton said. “We are serious about what we do. We are dedicated to the cause.” 

During the meeting, Morton presented a slideshow with squirrels edited into historical photos, explaining that squirrels have been responsible for many past tragedies. Barely stifled laughter filled the room as Morton displayed photos of squirrels edited next to dinosaurs or in the background of the “Washington Crossing the Delaware” painting.

Roughly 60 students attended the meeting, the majority of whom had to sit on the floor or stand against the walls.

“I just liked how many people came together,” Lizzy Patton, a Squirrel Observation Society member and sophomore said.“That had to have been the coolest part.” 

Later in the meeting, Morton allowed attendees to share their theories about the squirrels, which were carefully recorded by his officer team on the room’s chalkboards. Without official club status, the Squirrel Observation Society cannot reserve the rooms it meets in and it relies on the Mizzou Philanthropy Club to reserve classrooms for its meetings, Morton said.

“I really enjoyed the squirrels whenever I first came to campus, but they brought up some good points tonight,” Patton said. “There’s something up with them.”

After the meeting ended, Morton gave anyone who did not wish to take the initiation “vow” the chance to leave. Then, he asked the remaining attendees to kneel on the floor and swear an oath pledging their loyalty to the Squirrel Observation Society on a copy of Oprah Winfrey’s memoir, “What I Know For Sure.”

Morton then brought new members to the center of Speakers Circle for their initiation ritual, where a ring of LED candles awaited them.

“When you leave this circle, you will be officially full-fledged members of the society,” Morton said during the ritual. “Are you ready for that responsibility? Now, you all know the chant: gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us, one of us. Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, we accept you, we accept you.”

While chanting, existing members held hands and ran in a circle around the new members, clapping and cheering after each initiation.

The club meets every Monday at 6 p.m. Information about future meeting locations and society activities can be found on the club’s Instagram account.

“I was really just excited that this many people saw our silly little signs — not silly little signs,” Williamson said, correcting herself. “Saw our very well-put-together signs and that they said, ‘This is something I want to be a part of,’ and took time out of their day to come and help this initiative.”

Edited by Genevieve Smith | gsmith@themaneater.com

Copy Edited by Jae Green and Briana Iordan | biordan@themaneater.com

Edited by Sophie Rentschler | srentschler@themaneater.com