Crazy Loco Hot Cocoa is the magic you need when prepping for exams

The looming stress of finals and desire to embrace the Christmas spirit inspired me to try out the drink that 8-year-old me dreamed of having.

‘Crazy Loco Hot Cocoa’ is a drink from “Hannah Montana,” an early 2000s Disney series that starred Miley Cyrus. Robby Ray Stewart’s signature cocoa recipe had a magic to it. Every time Cyrus’s character was going through hard times, she would receive greater peace of mind. Out of desperation for that peace and holiday spirit, I decided to give it a try.

This Hannah Montana inspired recipe calls for one cup of milk, two tablespoons of Hershey’s chocolate syrup and one teaspoon of instant coffee with whipped cream and cinnamon sugar to top it. After gathering the ingredients, mix the milk, syrup and coffee together in a mug. Then, microwave the drink for 1 minute and 30 seconds. After the drink is done warming, add whipped cream and cinnamon … then voila! 2000s Disney excellence in a cup!

It was finally time for me to immerse myself in the healing magic of Robby Ray Stewart’s legendary hot chocolate. The build-up was definitely worth it. I was skeptical about the coffee and chocolate together but it was essentially a mocha. I’m not sure this is a kid-appropriate drink, though. The drink contains a lot of caffeine.

After a few sips, I realized I was missing some things in order to feel the transformation. The experience of ‘Crazy Loco Hot Cocoa’ is not complete by just drinking it — the cocoa must be accompanied with a classic Robby Ray Stewart (portrayed by Billy Ray Cyrus) pep talk.

I was missing the 2000s dramatics like the exaggerated facial expressions, the odd fashion sense and the nostalgic feeling overall. I didn’t even have those Hannah Montana vocal warmup-transitions. In order to fix this problem, I decided to rewatch my favorite Hannah Montana Christmas episode: “Killing Me Softly With His Height.”

In this episode, Miley Stewart (portrayed by Miley Cyrus) meets a cute boy named Connor while Christmas shopping. The two hit it off and Connor asks her out to the Christmas carnival. After criticizing her friend Oliver for being shallow for rejecting a girl because she had big feet, Miley finds out that Conner is shorter than her.

Miley struggles with the news despite taking the moral high ground about Oliver’s love life. In 2000s Disney channel fashion, Conner’s height is the main target for jokes. Conner wins Miley a stuffed animal that is taller than him, he agrees to ride on a kids ride with a stranger’s kid and he has to grab a skateboard to reach Miley when trying to kiss her.

The memories kept flooding back in and with my hot cocoa in hand; I knew this was what I needed. I was disappointed to see that Bobby Ray’s hot cocoa was not in the episode. However, the chaotic energy and screaming from the actors made it clear that there was Crazy Loco Hot Cocoa after all.

After Conner tries to kiss her, Miley reaches her breaking point and ultimately spits out the excuse that she is not ready to date. Connor immediately knows that she is turning him away because of his height. She does not truly realize her mistake until she daydreams about what it would be like to perform and be made fun of for being short, because it’s okay to be shallow until it affects your musical numbers.

Miley recruits her friend Lilly (portrayed by Emily Osment) to make things right with Connor. During Connor’s shift as an elf at a picture booth, Miley comes up with the idea of her and Lilly wearing a reindeer costume to get closer to him. Connor leaves anyway because he “has enough friends.” Miley does not back down and gives a genuine apology to Connor. She insists she would be happy to have another chance and the two make up.

To tie this episode with a bow, Robby Stewart tells us about the true importance of Christmas: “Christmas ain’t about the gifts. It’s about family, friends and celebrating all the little special moments that make up everyday life.”

Rewatching the show reminded me why I used to like it so much: the disrespect toward authority, the sass, the messy situations and the drama. This show taught you that life’s unpredictability could be conquered with a good heart — no matter how shallow you were to that boy at the Christmas carnival.

With the stress of exams and other troubles that come from the holiday season closing in, it is hard to sit back and enjoy the little things. Take a break and refresh your mind with the full “Hannah Montana” treatment.

Edited by Chloe Konrad | ckonrad@themaneater.com

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